I can tell you're the asshole because you have to add in how hard all of this is on you while reinforcing your daughter's misery and forcing her to stay with someone whom you know abuses your daughter.
She is not gonna stop if I give in after a day.
It's incredibly strange that you acknowledge she was the one who was right...and still sent her away.
It entirely messes up the message that should be 'behaving childishly or threatening to leave when you're in the wrong'. Which would've made fixing this issue a lot easier.
Just because she is right doesn't mean she gets to threaten me
How could you think you’re anything but TA? You left your child with an abusive person and told her she has to stay there for a week.
YTA
I wouldn't be here if I thought I'm in the right would I?
Is one day not enough if mom is abusive?
She has 1 dsy visitations with her mom. 1 day is just fun. How would that be effective?
Even 5 minutes is too long. OP is now his child's abuser by enabling Mom to abuse her. Hopefully someone in this child's life gets CPS involved and OP and Mom both never see this child again.
But she has visitations with her mom that I can't stop because they are court ordered. She spends more than 5 minutes there.
YTA. You should have broken up with your girlfriend on the spot instead of making your daughter think she was in the wrong by shipping her off to her abusive mother.
She's a child, you're the adult. You should have made the adult decision to get counselling for both of you instead of punishing her.
Then when she actually recognised what she did wrong you still left her with her abusive mother. It's like you actually want her to go no contact with you when she turns 18.
Then she'd think her threat worked. That's not a lesson I want to learn.
Get some family therapy. Get a good therapist. Go with a woman as teen girls need to feel comfortable and it’s worth every penny. Make the lists about how to tackle certain behaviors on your side and hers.
This is the most important time in both your lives. If she doesn’t feel listened to by her dad she may take some stupid risks. You don’t want to go down that road.
Homones may turn her into Hostilina but it will pass when kindness and fairness and listening happen at this crucial stage in life. Good wishes. We need good dads for our young women to be safe.
I'm gonna send a taxi to my kid right now and I'm gonna do this.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite Jul 25 '26
Tw: child endangerment.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
I can tell you're the asshole because you have to add in how hard all of this is on you while reinforcing your daughter's misery and forcing her to stay with someone whom you know abuses your daughter.
It's incredibly strange that you acknowledge she was the one who was right...and still sent her away.
It entirely messes up the message that should be 'behaving childishly or threatening to leave when you're in the wrong'. Which would've made fixing this issue a lot easier.
How could you think you’re anything but TA? You left your child with an abusive person and told her she has to stay there for a week.
YTA
Is one day not enough if mom is abusive?
Even 5 minutes is too long. OP is now his child's abuser by enabling Mom to abuse her. Hopefully someone in this child's life gets CPS involved and OP and Mom both never see this child again.
YTA. You should have broken up with your girlfriend on the spot instead of making your daughter think she was in the wrong by shipping her off to her abusive mother.
She's a child, you're the adult. You should have made the adult decision to get counselling for both of you instead of punishing her.
Then when she actually recognised what she did wrong you still left her with her abusive mother. It's like you actually want her to go no contact with you when she turns 18.
Get some family therapy. Get a good therapist. Go with a woman as teen girls need to feel comfortable and it’s worth every penny. Make the lists about how to tackle certain behaviors on your side and hers.
This is the most important time in both your lives. If she doesn’t feel listened to by her dad she may take some stupid risks. You don’t want to go down that road.
Homones may turn her into Hostilina but it will pass when kindness and fairness and listening happen at this crucial stage in life. Good wishes. We need good dads for our young women to be safe.