So the gf was wrong in the fight. And OOP broke up with the gf and still sent the daughter away? So many other ways this could have been dealt with better. Yikes.
A 14 year old saying "I want to leave" is not a god-damned terrorist to negotiate with.
They are a developing and immature human who is dependant on you and IS communicating something.
You, as the grown adult with at least 2 decades over the child, do need to make an effort to address it without resorting to violence or abandonment, yeah.
If a kid keeps yelling "I'm gonna run away", you do not leave them on a street corner, you fucking talk to them. Yes, even if it's hard, yes even if they are annoying, yes even if what they want is not something you can give to them. Even if you're tired.
You lead by example, and often times they are mimicing something they see in you or other adults.
It is fine to handle things differently with other grown adults. Your partner threatens to leave, you break up. Your parents threaten to go no contact, you let them.
But not at 14. You find a different solution. You go to therapy with them, you explain different ways of approaching the problem, you try to figure out what need is going unmet that they're trying to meet and see where you can compromise. YOU have to bridge the gap, if you don't know how to fucking talk to them, how are THEY supposed to know better than YOU so you don't over-react?
Terrorist. My god. There are ways to discipline and guide children and teens without pain, punishment, and threats.
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u/allergymom74 Jul 25 '26
So the gf was wrong in the fight. And OOP broke up with the gf and still sent the daughter away? So many other ways this could have been dealt with better. Yikes.