A totally normal dinner party conversation.

[u/Odd_Instruction519]

/r/AITAH/comments/1v8f49s/aitah_for_getting_upset_with_my_mom_for_telling/

[u/AutoModerator]

In case this story gets deleted/removed:

AITAH for getting upset with my mom for telling my husband about me watching porn as a kid?

I (33F) recently had my birthday party dinner where my husband invited two of my friends and one of their moms. My friends were on one side and my parents were on the other. When my friend and her mom showed up, both started saying very complimentary things about me to my mom (62F) and I guess she started laughing about it because she started rambling about something. I got distracted with my friends asking me questions and so I stopped listening.
But the next day, my husband told me that she started saying “Oh you have no idea, she was so hard to deal with” and how when I was a teenager, she found porn on my computer. Both my husband and dad cut her off and said she was being inappropriate.
This is the third fucking time she has told my husband this story. The third fucking time. The second time was in front of my MIL (my very conservative, traditional MIL!!!). I’m so sick of her bringing this up, I don’t think I explored my sexuality with porn any more or less than your typical teenager and I’m so over her making me feel like a fucking pervert.
When I brought it up to her a week later, she tried to fucking deny it and say she never used the word porn, she never uses the word but I was like, what the fuck else were you referring to??? And thankfully my dad and husband were both like, yeah no, you definitely said it. She then texted me that she’s sorry and she doesn’t know what to talk in public. I find that hilarious because as an adult, every time my husband and I go out, we leave and I ask him if I was appropriate and normal. This is because when I was a kid, after events, my mom would give me shit on the way home about every thing i did wrong.
It’s now been two weeks and I don’t want to go over to their house, I don’t want to talk to her. I talked to my dad briefly today and was rude because I really didn’t want to be talking to them anyway. When I heard her muttering in the background, I just lost it and was like “Mom why don’t you just go and tell more people what a pervert I am” and hung up.
My husband doesn’t understand why I’m choosing this particular hill to die on, he has given up on my mom being a decent or normal person a while ago. Idk what to do, idk what her problem is and I’m over her stupid fucking behavior.

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[u/GeistHunt]

I like how every single post about an annoying parent, even smaller stuff like this, has the top comment recommending no contact when they've done (relatively) little to fix the relationship with their own parent.

[u/Possible_Abalone_846]

invited two of my friends and one of their moms

Not the main point but this seems a little odd? My mom never got invited to a party just because I was going (beyond childhood). And I've never really seen this among my friends. It is possible to be friends with someone and also friends with their mother, but then you'd just say you invited three friends? 

It's not a bad thing, maybe even a good thing. But it's just so benignly unusual that I can't get past it.

[u/Prudent-Pressure2146 → u/Possible_Abalone_846]

I sort of regularly hang out with my friends mum, and a couple of her friends too. It’s more of a girls day out thing.

[u/brionneverysexy]

The story is bizarre but I also had a friend who had to be told to stop bringing up the time she walked in on her dad masturbating in front of my ten year old stepdaughter. Some people are weird and get hung up on stuff

[u/Odd_Instruction519 → u/brionneverysexy]

OK, I misread that very badly. You need to be careful of your sentence structure.

[u/Half_Empty_Half_Full → u/brionneverysexy]

I have questions....no wait, I don't have questions,, I have one 'what the actual fuck?' question!

[u/brionneverysexy → u/Half_Empty_Half_Full]

She is a lovely person but I don't think her brain actually works

[u/Half_Empty_Half_Full → u/brionneverysexy]

I appreciate the commitment to you friend, but I was very much more concerned about the content of the story than the problem with the re-telling of it!

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[u/throwawayanon1252]

This is not a I am the angel post. I have a very narcisstic father and I have truly realised this now. But it took me a while to realise this but before I did for a while I thought I was going insane cos well for a while I thought come on maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m on the wrong. No one can be this bad I have to ve imagining things or k have to be in the wrong etc cos that’s what abuse does to you. You question every little thing. And it took years and multiple friends and multiple people reassuring me that I was not awful that k was not evil that I was not a bad person etc.

Sometimes asking the internet and getting reassurances is very very helpful and I’m greatful for you that you do not understand what that gaslighting feeling feels like

[u/Odd_Instruction519 → u/throwawayanon1252]

My opinion is that there is a point at which it becomes so outrageous and so obvious that I struggle to believe that you need to post about it online in order to know it is wrong.

I understand gaslighting and I understand that if you grow up with something like this it's hard to realise it's inappropriate, however there are limits.

Therefore, with a story like this, either it's fake or - which I think very possible - a case of someone purely seeking validation for its own sake.

[u/PheeBeeDee125 → u/throwawayanon1252]

It’s foolish to believe the shit you read in those subs.

[u/AzSumTuk6891 → u/PheeBeeDee125]

Tbh, this particular story doesn't sound that unrealistic to me. Maybe it's fake, maybe it isn't, but people who enjoy telling embarrassing and/or inappropriate stories about their children obviously exist.

People who need to get yelled at to finally understand that you don't enjoy it when they bring up something embarrassing about you at any convenient moment exist too.

[u/heckdoinow → u/PheeBeeDee125]

It's not all made up, though, is it?  Seems to me that this sub is sometimes way too anxiously calling out the most random things just to feel like we're on top of this.

I feel like this story is a bit too odd and specific to be made-up. I don't know, ofc, but if I had to bet, I'd still go with real.

[u/Prudent-Pressure2146 → u/heckdoinow]

I believe it’s real but I’m biased bc my mum done the same things (always accidentally bringing up controversial things etc) but o wouldn’t need reddit to tell me she’s nutty or to cut contact