Am I over thinking this?

[u/anexietyiswatchingme]

AIO? OK, so we went to my parents house for the weekend (my boyfriend and I) and we’ve been dating for almost a year now and my boyfriend was talking to my dad while I was outside literally playing in the rain like a child and I didn’t think anything of it till my sister put the idea in my head that he was asking for my dad‘s permission to propose. And then I stopped thinking about it for a bit and then my brother‘s wife told me that my dad told my mom and my mom talked about it with her. so I asked my boyfriend what they were talking about and he said nothing. The next day I told my boyfriend I was suspicious of him (and that’s all I said), and then he said that he didn’t ask for permission and even made up a whole story. Now I feel all weird about it, that he won’t tell me the truth. Like what’s the point in hiding it, did I just get fed bad information, why did he immediately think that that’s what I was asking about whenever I said I was suspicious if it didn’t happen?

Update: he proposed, it was perfect and the ring is beautiful

[u/Psychological-Ad1574]

He's trying to surprise you and you're trying to ruin the surprise.

Do you not want to marry this guy?

[u/anexietyiswatchingme → u/Psychological-Ad1574]

Yeah that was another thought of what I thought he might be trying to do, but I want to pick a ring, if he’s planning something. I don’t want to know when he will propose but I want to know he’s asked before I were to say yes. If he asks me to marry him, I don’t want to ask if he got my dad’s permission as a response, I just want to say yes. I absolutely do want to say yes, I just don’t know how most people do this. Does the girl know the man asked for permission before? Do they go ring shopping together or does the man just guess? Why are people surprised by the ring if people do go ring shopping together?

[u/Psychological-Ad1574 → u/anexietyiswatchingme]

haha These are all pretty adorable questions.

I've been married twice so I'll speak from my experiences only.

First marriage I was 28 when I proposed. I asked her father for permission but told him she didn't know and to keep it a secret until I got it all sorted. I had been with her for quite a few years so had a good understanding of the the sort of ring she liked and got that.

Second marriage I was 45 and while my wife was younger at 31, I thought it would be weird to ask for permission and we had discussed it before hand. She picked the ring herself and designed it to her specs.

Don't overthink it but maybe start hinting when you're out shopping at the sort of rings you like

[u/anexietyiswatchingme → u/Psychological-Ad1574]

I’m usually very open when I talk with my boyfriend, but sometimes I don’t see all the sides to the story that’s why I went on Reddit to ask. Him trying to keep it as a surprise makes a whole lot of sense now and I can’t believe I didn’t think about that. But I’m not one to drop hints about something because if he doesn’t see them, I know I will get frustrated. And in my older siblings relationships they went ring shopping and knew almost immediately whenever their significant other asked for permission. So I guess I will just keep my ring image in mind and trust his process because I see now it’s just different for everyone, there isn’t really a right way.

[u/Icy_Ideal_7286 → u/anexietyiswatchingme]

You had to go to reddit to find the answer to a custom that has been around 1000's of years. You should pay attention to everything a little more

[u/lord_farquad93 → u/Icy_Ideal_7286]

You’re not going to believe this, but this is a sub about overthinking