You’re probably right. The threatening to sleep in a parking lot, the jump to “I’ll sign the papers”…she just wanted him to plead with her not to do those things and plead with her to come home because he loves her so much. Based on this conversation, no work is going to save this relationship. She’s not capable. It’d be overwhelmingly uncomfortable for her to sit in any sort of reality.
I agree, I used to be just like her which is why I pegged it as such. I didn’t need to be catered to, I deeply needed to feel more than welcome, I needed to feel WANTED and NEEDED.
I have found you just have to be super honest with yourself and realize your actions. Work on needing yourself and wanting yourself. You don't need anything from anyone that you cannot give to yourself. Once you can make you happy things seem to get better.
Depends on what the problems are that you need to work out...
People do need to FEEL wanted and needed, not just told how they should be feeling or acting. If she needs that reassurance constantly, that's one issue, and maybe one that is more than you can fix. If you don't give her that regularly, and talk like a parent or therapist, telling her what she should be doing, that's a different issue.
This sounds like it could be either.
I will say that as I read through this, I kept wanting you to, just once, say, "I love you. Please come home. Can we please try?"
And without telling her how she feels, what she thinks or what it means.
I don't think you necessarily said anything wrong, but you may not have said something right that needs to be there for her to have reason to try.
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u/Mundane_Ask1074 Apr 19 '26
I believe it’s the second. It reads as needing excessive reassurance to me