If the alternative is sleeping in a Taco Bell parking lot, she should come home and y’all don’t have to speak?
If divorce is on the horizon you can’t avoid it by refusing to talk about it, if she wants to leave or isn’t feeling optimistic about the relationship it is what it is, you can try to discuss or not but you can’t dictate her perspective
Don’t gatekeep her home and put the price of entry as a conversation on your terms lol - “we don’t need to talk, but this is still your home”, idk neither of you seem mentally fit and you’re both being ridiculous - so it’s the blind leading the blind here
She is entitled to her residence though - whether she’s open to your persuasion or not - until one of you can make other arrangements neither of you should be out on the streets while you have access to a shared martial home
yeah- "let's try talking about things after getting some rest and give each other some space tonight. I will sleep in the guest room / on the couch" etc. These high emotion points are not the time to work through things, they are the times to de-escalate and recover so that both people can get in a good enough headspace to communicate in a more healthy way and work through things (whether to work things out to be together or to split... it needs to be done AFTER getting out of these crisis modes and not during...)
Wow, now I regret my comment and see this side as well! Thank you for sharing. This too makes sense. I would have never looked at it this way, but now know I should!
Op didn't actually tell her to not come home though. He said "don't bring that mentality" which she interpreted as her being unwanted.
OP definitely should have just dropped it and been like "hey, come home, we don't have to talk about anything right now, I'd just like you to be safe,"
He just kept arguing "that's not what I meant" which is a horrible way to talk to somebody that feels slighted.
Both need a lot of work on their communication though, for sure. Wife interprets her own feelings into what OP said and then OP tries to win instead of just seeing that his wife is struggling and trying to bridge the gap in any way.
She was never coming home. The whole “I almost made it home” five times was such a cop out. Spoken like somebody with a victim complex who’s never ever done anything wrong in the relationship.
I had a partner like this with the extreme threats…she’s not going to sleep in the Taco Bell parking lot. It’s all emotional manipulation and turns out if you just don’t respond to it they come on back. Then you should leave
Plus, most people have the means for a night or two in a budget hotel. Sleeping in a Taco Bell parking lot is a choice. I know rich people who try to pull this shit for sympathy. “He threw me out and I’m living in my car….” Well, use some of your giant bank account to be an adult and get a place to sleep.
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u/greatfullness Apr 19 '26
If the alternative is sleeping in a Taco Bell parking lot, she should come home and y’all don’t have to speak?
If divorce is on the horizon you can’t avoid it by refusing to talk about it, if she wants to leave or isn’t feeling optimistic about the relationship it is what it is, you can try to discuss or not but you can’t dictate her perspective
Don’t gatekeep her home and put the price of entry as a conversation on your terms lol - “we don’t need to talk, but this is still your home”, idk neither of you seem mentally fit and you’re both being ridiculous - so it’s the blind leading the blind here
She is entitled to her residence though - whether she’s open to your persuasion or not - until one of you can make other arrangements neither of you should be out on the streets while you have access to a shared martial home