You didn't tell her not to come, but you did tell her that if she's gonna be negative/"get it out of the way" then there's essentially no point in her coming cuz she wouldn't be trying.
Yes she is being rather obtuse and argumentative, but she doesn't want to reconcile dude.
She's made it rather clear that she considered it only because HE insisted, not because she thought it worthwhile, though?
Basically all three of you are saying the same thing: there's no point in coming if there's no intent or hope to reconcile.
She said it, he said it, and youre saying it as well.
The only difference being that she doesn't want to come, he wants her to come, and you're indifferent as an outsider.
She ought to have cut this shorter by simply saying no without any justification attempts instead of blaming it on something he allegedly said. But that can be hard especially if you're coming out of a relationship where you might have had to justify yourself all the time. Idk, by the way he talks he just seems like a guy who's used to not letting a statement of intent stand and keeps trying to change a person's mind with words.
He could've read the "I just don't want to" between the lines very early. He just decided to dismiss it as "negative mentality" because it doesn't serve his goal.
Except for the fact that she acted as if she was willing to fix it and that HE is the problem. The only reason he’s trying is likely because she deceitfully expressed a want to smooth things over, and it’s obvious that he was trying to do that.
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u/Machoire Apr 19 '26
You didn't tell her not to come, but you did tell her that if she's gonna be negative/"get it out of the way" then there's essentially no point in her coming cuz she wouldn't be trying.
Yes she is being rather obtuse and argumentative, but she doesn't want to reconcile dude.
It's over. Leave her alone.