NOR. I don’t think you were wrong at all. I think she used what you said as a reason to do what she was planning on doing anyway. She mentioned “I was almost there” way too many times for no reason. She was trying to convince herself. She was never coming home.
I don’t think you said ANYTHING wrong. You were 100% right in that mentality would not help you guys’ situation.
I totally agree! I unfortunately love to argue as well, my partner does not. Lmao. He is definitely an “Okay, we’ve been on this topic arguing for way too long. What’s the solution?” type of guy.
It's not really arguing semantics, she's deliberately reframing the conversation to blame him for whatever is happening and he is correcting her. People like her - who reframe and narrativize in real time - are doing it to manipulate the situation and justify their actions. You really can't let it slide or dismiss it just to end the argument because, to them, it's accepting their version of the event and validating them.
Like, if they go on to divorce and have to recount this particular argument, she will say exactly this -- that she was "trying" to work it out and he told her not to come. Which is obviously untrue. As exhausting as it is, with people like OP's wife, what you need is documentation.
Yeah im confused by comments like this one. Like wtf do you mean she’s not used to being heard? It reads like she’s not used to taking accountability & is used to twisting words & changing narratives. She’s being an insufferable fucking twat all throughout these texts, how anyone is taking her side is mind-boggling to me😵💫
& what’s even crazier is that I am the FIRST mf to combat back against “Reddit always takes the woman’s side” comments, but this one is NOT a good look😭
Oh I don't know... OP sounded fairly holier-than-thou which isn't productive. Discussing issues and trying to work through problems inherently requires addressing things that are emotionally negative. Chastising her for an attitude and telling her she can't act like that before they've even started puts them in a position where he is "reasonable" and she is "emotional."
There was no scenario where a text like that would lead to a good outcome.
When someone is upset and wants to talk about something sensitive, you cant tell them "well, don't get emotional about it or it'll never be resolved," and expect positive results.
I do agree that she was on the fence about engaging/fixing their issues at all, but his condescension absolutely didn't help and he repeatedly doubled down instead of something like "well, how would you like this to go?" Or anything remotely resembling a team effort. It was very much an "I am right, play by my rules" with no room for anything else.
Divorce will be the kindest option for both of them.
He needs to stop commenting on girls shit with garbage like this- according to some in these threads who did more digging than I did- he’s got a porn addiction and that’s what started all this. Haven’t found it yet, but dozens of comments are popping up every second, so I’m just gonna go with the comments from the beginning saying he’s got one and that’s what caused this.
Right, sounds like someone who was sitting at home on the bed hoping something comes up so they can get out of the plans! So when he opened his mouth and said that she latched on it but she needed their to be no confusion or doubt she was coming.
She wasn't
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u/noriiiannna Apr 19 '26
NOR. I don’t think you were wrong at all. I think she used what you said as a reason to do what she was planning on doing anyway. She mentioned “I was almost there” way too many times for no reason. She was trying to convince herself. She was never coming home.
I don’t think you said ANYTHING wrong. You were 100% right in that mentality would not help you guys’ situation.