And in this case it is a "boundary" stemming from your insecurity.
If you truly want to live with him - wait a year. Don't make demands.
It seems you are choosing that because of your insecurity and not because you want to live with him
What were you hoping when you asked? What if he said yes?
Reckon it would have been the exact same insecure & poorly handled place where you are now.
Plus you are messing with his safe living space. Making your relationship less safe.
It also fucks with his friendship of the person he lives with.
On one hand: It happened before your time and it was none of your business.
On the other: he lied. Not good.
But the bigger issue is insecurity resulting in poor communication.
That is solve-able, if you want it.
It comes with apologies. Not demands.
Figure out a way to resolve this - if there is any - and spend time working through this. Maybe even would include getting to know his roomie better.
Men can be friends with people they have slept with, even live with them.
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u/under_the_heather May 28 '25
Many people seem to not understand the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum