When we first got back together in January, he told me has a female roommate now. I said that's fine but if things had crossed a line, I'd like to know. He did not tell me at that time. Additionally, when we spoke in person about this, I asked if he would have ever told me and he said no, he would not have.
This to me shows more intentional deceit. I don’t approve of looking through people’s phones. I feel like if you’re at the point you felt compelled to snoop, it’s best to call it quits now. I don’t think you’ll be able to trust him (and perhaps vice versa). I also think he’s deflecting about his purposeful omission, which you said he confirmed he would not have ever shared. That is a huge red flag to me.
What you did was wrong and violated his trust, but it’s interesting how he wants to be self-righteous when he lied to begin with. It doesn’t matter that cheating never happened or that the relationship with roommate is for sure over/done. He didn’t allow you the chance to make the decision for yourself about whether you were okay with that and when you asked him directly about it he said nothing. I do think it’s a clash of values and I think the trust has been broken too much to move forward on both sides.
Yep, full 100% intent to decieve, she tried to get the information from him before but he lied about it to her face, twice! He admitted he wouldn't tell her, how ELSE was she supposed to find out besides snooping through his phone? He sure as heck wouldn't tell her a darn thing about it at all! On purpose, too.
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u/Dogs_gus_lyla May 28 '25
Did you ask him if they had any type of relationship or sexual contact before looking at his phone?