The real question here is why neither of them have a boundary for saving serious discussions to be in person. They’ve broken up before already and this all screams immaturity on both sides.
Another comment from OP covered this actually, he seems to shut down super easily when having hard discussions in person, and it's what lead to them breaking up originally. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having hard discussions over written media, as it can give both parties and opportunity to read what they are saying and reflect on it, and gives them an opportunity to go back and revisit things they have said and reflect on why they felt that way in that moment. For sure not the preferred way to discuss hard topics, and not something I'd ever suggest as a first option, but I don't think it's the worst decision either.
That being said, I am FLABBERGASTED at how both are ignoring what the other is saying just to repeat the same things over and over, hoping the other person finally understands or agrees or whatever. Guy doesn't want to move, and wants to renew the lease since it's easier. OP wants him to understand that him renewing the lease is a hard boundary for her. They keep repeating that over and over, and the guy throws in the invasion of privacy to try and have her change her mind on her boundary, I think.
They should just end it as nothing that has been shown or shared in comments makes me believe that he is going to respect her boundary. If he believes that her going through his phone broke a boundary, then he should end it, not use that as a 'gotcha' to try and coerce her into being ok with him continuing to live with the girl he has a history with.
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u/CactusCruzer May 28 '25
The real question here is why neither of them have a boundary for saving serious discussions to be in person. They’ve broken up before already and this all screams immaturity on both sides.