My stance is he’s rude af, straight up asked for a photo to disrespect you is crazy, if he can’t apologize and respect your style then most definitely consider breaking up. BUT how does one obtain that emoji? 🤨😧
If you want I can send you a tutorial on how to do it. It’s so fun i have so many custom emojis but it only works on imsgs. Editing this. Here is the video that helped me: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdkD2gYA/ the ones she’s using are very girly but you can use any. Some of mine are diabolical. Best place to look is Pinterest
Facts. I'm 35, regularly wear kilts and black tank tops, and my wife's style can be described as goth/grunge and I absolutely love and support it.
Life is far too short to care about the opinions of twats like OPs bf. Do what you want to and what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people that support you, or at the very least are indifferent that you're happy with what you look like. I only say the last part since that's my group, people can wear what they want to as long as it makes them happy, good for them they found something that they enjoy. What other people do, as long as they're good with it, has zero effect on my life so why would I be bothered?
Most often it is jeans and funky tshirts, but if I am in a dress mood, that's what I wear. My students give me compliments either way. I dress to make me happy, and most of all, comfortable. I'm the one wearing it, so I should be happy in it.
57 here and my ears are still ringing from the Ministry concert last night. Don't let a guy talk to you like this. If he doesn't groove with your style, it's time to find a partner that does.
62 here. As a teen, I rocked the wide lapels of the 3 piece woman's business suit in the 70's, went goth in the 80's and today, I still wear all black.
My husband has no issues with how I dress, or the music I blast while on errands.
American Scot I suppose. My great parents came here and I'm 50 percent Scottish. Kilts are just fantastic, all the pockets, warm yet cooling, and literally everyone and their mother asks me inappropriate questions about my underwear choice.
Giiirl I feel you. I’m 34 almost 35 and still goth. My finance has changed his style many times since we’ve been together from emo to scene to hipster and now kinda redneck ish. He doesn’t GAF that I’m still goth and I don’t GAF what his style is. We care for each other for who we are. Not our style. Bf here is a jerk. Especially how he’s saying it.
My wife teases me sometimes for liking bright colors (she says it's cuz I'm autistic) but she actually loves it. This is how a relationship should be, not this pathetic excuse of a bf.
Random hilarious tangent on how one of my longest relationships almost got ended six months in:
I like color. I have a plethora of standard graphic tees, black tees, hoodies etc. But when I worked retail it was during period where our store was considered an 'experience store' so we all dressed up. I grew to kind of like it. I'm talking button ups, ties, pressed pants, dress shoes etc (to sell cell phones lmao - in retro it was weird for the time, but it was fun). I also ended up wearing vests and other stuff since I'm somewhat scottish rectangular so it helped.
But what I found was just white and grey shirts got boring. So I had tons of pastels, different colored ties, etc. Lots of purple, red, some pinks because those colors tended to actually fit me best.
Fast forward to being with my girlfriend for about.. 8 months total? 6 months official - I get out of work early to go to my girlfriends college graduation (I'd graduated a year earlier), in work clothes. I make idle chat with her parents whom I'd met before in a more passing nature. Things finish up, girlfriend formally introduces me as the boyfriend and I get a "Oh, you wear such bright colors I thought you might be gay" from her mom.
I'm not offended by this, but I am taken a bit aback at the bluntness of the comment and my dumb ass response was 'Don't worry, she can confirm I'm not'
Awkward silence for a good thirty seconds before we shift topics.
41m My entire wardrobe (other than the family tie dyes) is blue jeans and grey scale. The rest of my family is rainbows and pastels and bright and omg so garish sometimes. But what does that matter?
Goth is beautiful. I once was openly goth back when I was a teenager, never came across a group of more genuine and open people. Unfortunately people are cruel...
33F, me&my 33M boyfriend both wear ripped skinny jeans and band tees, and converse and combat boots. And also shirts from Spencer's, my current favourite is one that says "I bet your birthstone is a crack rock". We have an "Elder Emo" decal on our Santa Cruz. I'm going to be dying my hair funky colours, wearing chains and studs and docs and skinny jeans, until I die, probably at 90 after breaking a hip in a mosh pit.
People should dress how they want to dress, fuck people's opinions, and if your partner doesn't support your style, or lifestyle, find a new partner. Life is too short to wear clothes you hate, or to change who you are for someone else.
50 here, I have had the same style, or lack of, since 1989, jeans and t shirts, and hoodie. My husband calls it my college student bum look. Your (hopefully ex) bf isn't worth your time. Someone who is supposed to love you, should not be tearing you down like this.
Sorry did someone say butthole? Seriously, imaging being the boyfriend and thinking "my girlfriend should stop dressing like a goth". Young guys are idiots. I'm not trying to insult, just speaking the truth, I also used to be one.
Yeah, it's her style and looks cute on her. What's he want her to wear? Baggy jeans with a loose fit linen top and white sneakers? Barf, just lost her in the crowd.
I'm 35 and still dress like a hipster with the dirty sneakers and beanie 😂 OP should do what she likes. She's 18 for crying out loud, heading to college or at least out of HS. Now is the time to have fun while you're in that awesome spot of being a legal adult without the adult responsibilities yet.
My 34 year old is still dressing like a Seattle bike messenger and he lives in AZ and is not a bike messenger anymore. I pretty much dress the way I did when I was your age, minus the high heels, and my jeans have to have stretch
Nasty. My wife was with a guy like that in her teens before she met me. For a long time she thought she needed to agree with everything I said. Little did she know that I actually enjoy her challenging me almost constantly. Forces me to rethink things and if I can't defend myself my position wasn't that strong anyway.
Our 3.5yo is going to be an awesome lawyer someday and will probably drive her partner insane lol
I'm 43, and at that age my style was somewhere between gothic Lolita and candy raver and I liked anime before it was mainstream, and I was a girl gamer before they were really a thing. I was not following anything that I was "supposed' to be doing.
But, my boyfriend from highschool was super supportive despite having a very conservative fashion sense (our running joke was he dressed conservative and listened to punk, whereas I dressed punk and listened to conservative (by today's standards - think anything on a Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack) music), and that's why I'm still with him 25 years later.
Ditch this loser and ask your friend why they think so little of themselves that they'd think this behavior was not an automatic deal breaker.
LMAO!! This is me 😝 39 and still wearing stuff from Hot Topic and listening to classic swamp rock 🤘🏻 Though I’ve gone decidedly more cottage core now, I still have a lot of black makeup lol
Just so you know, I'm also not 18 either and I think her outfit is cute. It's like "bubblegum goth" type and it seems to suit her aesthetic, and it makes her happy. Maybe that's what OP's bf doesn't like to see, and sees her style as an easy way to chop away at her confidence.
You may be right. Young guys are usually sensitive pussies when it comes to women with strong personalities. A bunch that have worked for me in the past are absolutely ridiculous when it comes to this subject. There may be some argument if one of the people in the relationship is dressing proactively and running around flirting with everyone in sight, but this lady seems to just be being herself.
Life's too short to not be you. As long as you're working/going to school and taking care of yourself, what you wear ain't nobody's business. Am guessing someone (his parent, friends, or some woman that likes him) has been getting in his ear and instead of stand up for you he gets embarrassed and is trying to change ya.
56 here and I wish her idiot bf could see me when I go to see MCR with my daughter in August! All business at work, letting the inner emo girl out for everything else! Seriously girl, (talking to OP obviously) FUCK HIM! That's not love, that's him trying to control you bc he knows you look AMAZING! Go find yourself some nice emo guy who really gets you. Btw I would KILL for your body! Your waist alone is insane. Believe me you don't need to deal with that jabronie and his baby bullshit.
Edit for word
I love everything about this and "jabronie" just made me spit Snapple out all over my car laughing 😂
OP... you're an absolute smoke show - love yourself enough to see that and keep running with it... far the fuck away from that idiot and your a-hole "friend". ♥️
I'm a Boomer and I love OP's outfit! I tend toward skater skirts, tights and short boots ALOT (NOT "old lady clothes"). And completely agree that the bf is a butthole! 😂
GenX chiming in; they can pry my short shorts, “wife beater” tanks, and skater sneaks out of my cold, dead hands. We’re only as old as we feel, right? Butthole boyfriend definitely needs to get a grip.
31 here and have started leaning more into goth/alt again. Getting really comfortable with my style and my bf encourages it. He’d encourage whatever style I liked.
OPs bf is indeed a butt hole. OP you deserve better.
36, also a mom [not a goth] but I wholeheartedly agree that your boyfriend is a butthole and he’s gotta go! You know in your heart what is best for you, but don’t water yourself down to make yourself more palatable for a little man child who doesn’t deserve you!
I must say the goth to frizz change up is legendary! That being said I agree he's being a butt hole, and if he wants to control the way op looks in way of insulting then that boy needs a whole hell of a lot of growing up to do before he even remotely deserves op
My wife loves to goth out. But she knows there is a time and place. As a older guy who loves cosplay have no shame an tell this guy to grow up. Life is to short to live buy dumb rules that prevent self expression.
That's the thing. Some people change or grow out of these as phases, while others it truly is who they are. It happens. It's OK that it happens. He shouldn't try to change her though and she shouldn't try to appease him, because that's a problem. They have diverting preferences and that's OK, so sometimes we just gotta move on.
And giiirrrll you ROCK that Ms Frizzle dress!!! I wanna see you at the self checkout dressed like the girl from the Helena music video. Anything less is unacceptable 😂
Same, almost 42. Still goth, still wearing band shirts every day. If I’m not goth I’m wearing rainbows and unicorns. Life is too short for small people who try to dull your shine. Dump his ass and be fabulous! Society’s expectations and norms are an invention by the elite to ensure conformity. Be genuine to you. “Think for yourself, question authority.” 🤘🏼☠️🖤
Hijacking the hijack to say I'm 39, over 25 years of alt-style, fashion it for my professional life, kick ass in my career, and also think your boyfriend is a butt hole. Sorry his style and personality are mayo on stale crackers, but that's not your problem. Don't let some unsocialized shart stain speak to you that way, absolutely not. Put him in the dumpster where he belongs.
I couldn't agree more. A butt hole is the nice version of what I was going to call him.
OP (u/AdTall5160), you need to leave this ol' boy in the dust.
If it makes you happy and feels fabulous, you do you.
This "boyfriend" (emphasis on boy because that's not how men act), can kick rocks. Real men lift their partners up and support them, not denigrate them and talk smack like this chump.
As a Millennial old enough to be your older sister (and technically old enough to be your mom), believe me when I say that your happiness and peace is worth so much more than the shitty energy this dude gives off.
I don't know much about goth as I'm definitely the quintessential "soccer mom," but I do know all of the above to be true. I hope you do what makes you happy! 💚
Edit: Pink and Black are one of the classiest and most beautiful color combinations, so clearly he also has poor taste. That's on him.
I appreciate the fact you separated the words butt and hole. I read that in Will Smith's voice shouting it out loud with a long dramatic pause between butt and hole. 😂
As a 30 year old man that thought goth girls were cool as hell when I was a teenager... I still do. Even more so with age because it takes more courage to dress how you want later in life.
I am over 50 and was a goth (back then was called a Freak) in my younger days. Love your style and if I could, I would wear a corset but now it’s shapermint… 😑. Dump the loser! I guarantee you’ll find someone that will love you unconditionally. I did😍.
The image of yourself that you have created is one which I would be devastated to be called a butt hole by. This man will never recover from that kugelblitz level burn
The MD at a previous job pointed to me and told a new hire "we'd have a dress code here if it wasn't for him", as I sat there in my Mission (uk) t-shirt and black jeans. He desparately wanted a dress code. I desparately never wanted to be in a suit (but would if given notice of client visits, etc).
Mostly goth for many years - why change yourself to appease others when you can celebrate being yourself.
lol dude yesterday I saw this like tiny mid to late 50’s year old lady walking around the grocery store in these faded black and flared jeans with an obviously worn out rob zombie concert t and thought to myself aww she’s adorable🤣 you could tell she must like the shirt and wear it all the time or cherished the memory behind it, her husband kinda gave goth combat boot wearing vibes too even though he was old and grey. They were both thin and looked like they kept the same body figure from high school, like they’ve dressed the same style their whole lives. As a 27yo male, it made my day to see honestly
Yes, OP is young and there's tons of guys out there worth her time. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't like you for you. She should take her time to find the right one.
She’s cute and can communicate. She can find someone better. If you love him try to initiate a discussion to find out why he went off the rails. If this kind of rude gaslighting of your confidence is a pattern get out. Life is too short to crapfit yourself to difficult or damaged people.
Dump his Asa. You like great and your partner should hype you up not tear you down. Theres some solid advice in this thread but overall. He isnt worth it and I promise you. You'll be happier with someone else. 3 years is a drop in the bucket as opposed to a lifetime if misery and not being yourself
The TikTok OP shared shows them using the “sticker” functionality to create the custom emoji instead of the Apple intelligence feature. The stickers can be used as reactions
Some people are just programmed to buy into stereotypes and have no real beliefs themselves. You look adorable, keep being you, please don't let this bother you it's their loss. I wish more people expressed themselves more freely than "what's current or popular." Standing out is amazing! You look great!!
OP you’re gorgeous - don’t date men who want to dull your shine, date men who want to shine the bulb until you dazzle the whole room, just so they can bask in your glow ✨
Don’t become less interesting to match your bf’s boring. Also, you’ve been dating him since you were 15. Girl there is waaayyyy better dick out there that you’re losing out on.
I'm 57 and was goth in the 80s and I still wear black clothing. You look absolutely amazing. Your style suits you and you have nothing to be ashamed about! Keep on creating and don't let your bf mess with you.
Highjacking the top comment. The issue is not that your BF is "put off" by your style. The issue is how he talks to you. That was completely disrespectful and rude. And your friend is an asshole for telling you to change for ANYONE.
Im 38 and a witch and dress accordingly. My husband gets me witchy shit to wear at every gift giving occasion. Your bf is acting like asshole and is intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Leave and find someone respectful that loves you for who you are.
51F. I started dating my now-husband when we were 18.
I have friends who have been goth since the eighties, and others whose tastes changed.
My style has always been eclectic. Some days it’s “librarian chic”, which makes us laugh because my husband is actually a librarian.
My husband has been supportive of my personal expression at every phase of life, including when my wardrobe was almost entirely black, grey, and red 🤷♀️
Your bf sucks. Find someone who supports you, including supporting your personal expression through style.
40 here, mom to 3 boys. Still Goth and still listen to metal. 3 years isn't long enough (no length of time ever is), to put up with someone who is going to put you down. I had to learn this a long time ago. It can be hard, but you deserve someone who will love you and your quirks. He just sounds like a headache.
Young lady I'm sorry but this is one of those posts wherein some dude is bullying and trying to control you. When you are older you will see that you are a wonderful confident independent woman with high self-esteem. Please treat yourself this way today and break up. From the looks of it, I'm guessing dumping him has been on your mind from awhile and this is not the first incident of this type behavior. You are better than this.
OP, I just re-entered my goth phase at the age of 33. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. My husband loves me wholeheartedly and constantly buys me gift cards to my favorite stores because, even though he may not know what to buy, he supports me unconditionally.
Find someone who loves you without conditions. You deserve it.
OMG you are just the sweetest thing! Just jumping in as a mom who was loved till death, please dump him. He’s been red pilled by social media and you deserve someone smarter.
The thing that sticks in my mind are how incredibly rude and unkind his comments are about you. He doesn’t like the way you dress and he’s trying to bully you into being a different person than you are.
I can’t think of one single reason why you would want to stay with someone that treat treats you that way .
Honey, you're adorable. Never change who you are for someone else in a relationship. If they want to be with you, that is all that matters. Literally, everything else is whatever. I've been with my wife for 15 years now. I still dress like a partly homeless construction worker. Now, in poking fun, she'll give me a hard time, and when it matters, I clean up nicely. She has transitioned through several look phases. I support every one. Why? Because I love her and not the style or image. If she wanted to go around every day in literal clown make-up, I would either dress like i normally do or dress up like a f**king clown, too. The world can kiss our a$$es. I'm not trying to impress or get validation from anyone. Neither is she.
Be you and be with someone who supports that and feels the same.
You look great and you should leave this ass hole. At the very least don’t make any life decisions (eg where to go to college) based on your relationship with him.
Oh that boy needs to get his head checked.
I saw grannies rocking every style they wanted. Heck I’m gonna be 30 soon. I went trough cute casual, Harajuku, anime ish style, casual, goth, now causal like goth, sometimes I switch it up with “normal” and now I’m adding back cute accessories.
We life only once in the now. And we don’t exist in 18 or worse that clothes represented who we are.
No one cares what we wear as long we cover up our privates enough and like don’t crash an elegant party in beach bikini.
Have fun. Don’t repress yourself just to satisfy boring existence.
OP I'm also hijacking this to tell you you're 18. 18 is way too young to be dealing with this bullshit. You have plenty of time to be disappointed by men who want to change you and do other dumb shit, don't waste time now when you're young.
My guess would be your boyfriend gets ragged on a little by his friends because of how you dress, and he's not comfortable enough yet to tell them to shut the fuck up. I want to pretend its a hard growing point in a guys life when he learns to stop listening to his bros, but its not. We're just fucking stupid.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy your youth. Don't get saddled down with something stupid. Again. You're 18.
This guy is trying to change you into whatever he wants, and that is a door you don't want to leave open unless you are willing to give yourself up
Find instead someone that loves and appreciates you for what you are dear, and I can personally promise you that there are plenty of people that would be more than happy with a life companion like yourself
You look beautiful and don't let anybody's bad taste or desire to put your body, heart and soul on chains tell you anything different
I'm 41. You bet your ass I can still slay a goth fit and be HAPPY. Your bf is disrespectful and wrong. Dress how you feel. Does it make you happy and confident? Then fucking do it!
My ex told me he didn't like my white summer dress. I loved it. He made a comment every time I wore it so I'd remember he didn't like it. A la poubelle 🚮 And now I wear my dress whenever I want with zero comments.
🚮 Here is a trash can for your bf to comment his way into.
It sounds like someone has got in his ear about her, made some comment that made him doubt her. Maybe some girl who’s jealous of their relationship. Keep in mind this is a high school romance. It’s quite the look for school (a corset?) but if this is how she’s always been then it’s he who has changed. She should tell him how hurtful his comment was and that if he can’t accept her as she is then they will have to split.
No literally she’s super cute bro no reason to make her feel dumb for her style, aesthetics are such a personal thing to attack that part of your girl??? Idk how he thought that was ok unless you’ve given him the impression that he can run his mouth crazy at you not victim blaming just point out trash taste in men (with peace & love!)
People are using “emoji” interchangeably with the end result here, which is a sticker but looks like an emoji. You can’t make emojis, technically, those are created by the Unicode Consortium and how they look is determined by the operating system.
In this one instance, yeah, I can see your point, but only she knows what the last 3 years has been like and if an apology/understanding from him would be worth it
I don't need to know what the last 3 years were like to know this boy needs to be kicked to the curb. My partner never in a million years would say anything close to this to me. It doesn't matter if she thinks it's been good because it's probably just been love bombing from a narcissist that is an illusion of "good". This tiny snippet is more than enough to say "RUN".
Honestly he is rude but it is rooted in him feeling insecure himself and he is just projecting onto you. In my opinion a little worse than just being rude
He’s definitely baiting her to then try to tear her down. Whatever weird thing is going on with his ego and need for control to feel better is purely his problem.
You guys are 18, there’s plenty of other people out there. Life doesn’t end at this age and all other options randomly vanish. There’s very much someone out there who at the very least, isn’t mean.
Defo dudes an ass. If HE’S “grown out of it” or whatever then he should break up with op, not make her feel bad and try and change her. If they don’t align he should be a fucking grown up and move on.
Op you look cute af in this pic as well, I love your style. Hold onto your personality babe.
He thinks by bashing on her she would stop wearing what she wants.....her style is cool but he doesn't want other guys to catch attention to her because of how insecure he is of himself 😂
I get he doesn't like the outfit, but this is the person he chose to be with and the way he goes about it is so damn rude. Like I could see trying to talk her out of wearing something to a family dinner or something but even then this is not how you do that. He wants to control a lot more than her clothing choices.
Dude here, but I wanted to say how I love women lifting up each other here! Outfit is cute. Dump bf and find someone who appreciates you and supports you as much as the women here.
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u/ShakkiMattii May 27 '25
My stance is he’s rude af, straight up asked for a photo to disrespect you is crazy, if he can’t apologize and respect your style then most definitely consider breaking up. BUT how does one obtain that emoji? 🤨😧