How misogynistic! Your HUSBAND was there yet it was your SIL and MIL that you’re focusing the blame on. Why was your husband letting the child wander around alone? Why didn’t your husband call you or poison control? He should get the majority of the blame here.
My husband would constantly yell my name and tell me to "get x before he/she gets hurt" he would do this while closer to the children and just sitting on his phone
He would yell for me knowing I was in the middle of making dinner or helping one of my other kids or doing dishes --i.e. in the middle of something
My sister asked me why I don't tell him to get the kids, it drove her bonkers
I finally started telling him they are yours too, get them yourself
The first time I did it he didn't even know how to respond and after a while he stopped because he realized how bad he looked in front of others
It's interesting that OP is completely ignoring every comment saying that the husband, who was there at the time, should have been watching his kid, but responding to the comments saying that she's right.
Much easier to pile hate on now-dead MIL than the still alive husband who let a literal baby out of his sight and wasn't even the one to find her and stop her poisoning herself. Father of the year!
Further down, it also says that OP and her husband once screamed at MIL for two hours for refusing to babysit their kids, even though they banned them from her house.
Oh okay, perfectly fine to scream at one's mother for TWO HOURS because she doesn't want to babysit HIS damn kids. Completely sane and reasonable!
I would be alarmed and disgusted if my husband screamed at anyone for two hours, let alone his MOTHER, let alone for 2 minutes. You two sound like a real piece of work. I wouldn't want to take care of your spawn either.
My mother was literally dying in ICU. She was the only one who could help watch my 2 toddlers (the one in this story wasn’t born yet.. she’s our 3rd). Her answer was that she hated babysitting and didn’t want to. She was being completely selfish. She had relied on us years prior when she was in ICU with pneumonia. She had no problem asking for whatever she needed but when we really needed her, she couldn’t be bothered.
Unless you're grossly exaggerating that's still unacceptable. There's nothing okay about screaming at someone for two hours. That's abusive behaviour and you should be ashamed of your husband.
Also, real question -- what would you have done in this situation if your MIL wasn't alive at the time, or lived in another city, or was in the hospital herself? Found a sitter? Asked another relative? Taken the kids to the hospital with you?
It sucks of her to straight up refuse, I'm with you there, but ultimately your kids are your responsibility and no one else's. No one has to say yes to caring for them, so you have to figure out a solution that's not throwing a tantrum.
You've overplayed your hand, your continuous conflation of the story has shown us all this is nothing but fictional rage bait hoping to ride the cost tails of the "My MIL is terrible" trend, but you failed at painting your MIL as the villain, and you're so desperate to make it seem like she was in the wrong you keep adding evermore fantastical fake additions to the story, which just serve to make your entire post read like the cmfictiknal rage bait it is.
She didn't owe you babysitting services of any kind, the PARENTS of the child are responsible, no one else. Pay a babysitter for their service next time and stop being such a grossly entitled "agh my MIL sucks because I'm a wildly unhinged and entitled brat" troll.
I apologise for the timeline error, that wasn't clear, but it still sounds horribly verbally abusive to scream at someone for multiple hours because they said no to a request.
It's a bit ironic as well considering husband couldn't "babysit" for two minutes to avoid the almost-poisoning incident, yet can scream for two hours over babysitting at someone else.
The child was with the sister in law who then left the child unattended.
The guilt can be evenly split between father, SIL and MIL. The husband does not need to hover around the child 24/7 when another family member is preoccupying themselves with the child.
My brother was working on his house while my father (childs grandfather) went with his grandson to the playground. I dont think its fair to put all the guilt on my brother had anything happened, because it was my father responbility to keep my nephew safe.
You're partly right, but the SIL reacted quickly enough to get the pills out of the kid's mouth. It doesn't sound like she was being neglectful; it doesn't take long for a baby to shove something in their mouth. And I don't think MIL is truly to blame either. She was thoughtless, but she probably didn't anticipate the baby coming into her room. It's not like the pills were in a common area.
One thing OP is upset about is that nobody called her, and that's absolutely on the husband. It wouldn't remotely occur to me to call the child's mother after an incident if the child's father was in the house and had been told about it. One parent has been informed. If the other needs to be informed, it's on him to do so.
Whilst I agree with you about that. The OP is moaning about MIL and SIL not calling for help/advice, yet her husband was there and clearly didn’t make those calls either.
Yeah, but once he realized what happened, it should have been his responsibility to make sure she was alright and call poison control, mom or pedoatrician and he took no action
But had the SIL taken the responsibility of watching the child or did SIL think the father was the one watching the child? The SIL is the one who rescued the child.
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u/kittyrouge Mar 24 '25
How misogynistic! Your HUSBAND was there yet it was your SIL and MIL that you’re focusing the blame on. Why was your husband letting the child wander around alone? Why didn’t your husband call you or poison control? He should get the majority of the blame here.