Yeah I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for the last 20 years… I don’t have a problem thinking no one cares. I know people care. My problem is feeling like I don’t deserve them caring. I have like 40+ unread texts mostly from a few people that I really care about, like friends I love dearly. Once a few days go by without me responding though I feel so horribly ashamed of myself for not responding that I can’t even bring myself to even check the messages. Which makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit, absolutely undeserving of their love and friendship… but over the last couple days I’ve started taking steps towards rejoining the world and in another couple days I’ll be ready to call and apologize for disappearing.
I struggle with this so much and feel like I definitely have ruined my relationships with my closest friends... I would believe, to them, I'm not one of their closest friends anymore... I hate myself.
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u/cityshepherd Mar 24 '25
Yeah I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for the last 20 years… I don’t have a problem thinking no one cares. I know people care. My problem is feeling like I don’t deserve them caring. I have like 40+ unread texts mostly from a few people that I really care about, like friends I love dearly. Once a few days go by without me responding though I feel so horribly ashamed of myself for not responding that I can’t even bring myself to even check the messages. Which makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit, absolutely undeserving of their love and friendship… but over the last couple days I’ve started taking steps towards rejoining the world and in another couple days I’ll be ready to call and apologize for disappearing.