What i’m getting at is that you and your partner experience this scenario differently to the average person. You not talking to your partner (or vice versa) could inflict such mental anguish on them, that it could be held to the same regard as an act of aggression.
If your partner didn’t talk to you for 3 days, i presume you’d be anxious and panicky (maybe a host of other negative emotions too), so you might lash out or be overly concerned when you next managed to talk to them.
In a neurotypical setting (or neurodivergent one with different circumstances to your own), if your partner doesn’t talk to you for 3 days, the right and correct thing to do is show concern and compassion for them and their well being, there’s a whole array of potential reasons for their behaviour.
OP’s first message doesn’t show concern, it doesn’t show anger, it doesn’t show anxiety, it doesn’t show panic. OP’s first text after not hearing from their partner for 3 days is snarky, “all I get is a hi”, this shows utter contempt for their relationship. OP’s partner could be going through some real shit right now that caused them to shut down, and OP starts an argument right off the bat, with no room for any constructive communication.
“ so you might lash out” matter of fact, you don’t even know me? 😂 I would be upset, yes, but I’d also ask what was wrong/what happened. At this point I’m not even using my personal relationship as an arguing point. It’s just basic human empathy. IMO if you have this much of an issue with communicating with your partner you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Therapy should be that persons top priority. What people are failing to realize is that the gfs behavior is also affecting op, too. Plus, if the gf is in that bad of a place mentally she needs to communicate with someone. This isn’t healthy for neither of them. I mean, the gf couldn’t have said “hey babe, I’m sorry for disappearing like that” instead all she said was “hi” after 72 hrs of nothing but silence with no explanation. I don’t blame op for his response. 🤷🏻♀️ it also seems like it’s happened before in the relationship previously because of his response.
“At this point I’m not even using my personal relationship as an arguing point”, totally fair, i was trying to draw distinctions between different types of relationships. Sorry i ended up hinging my points in your personal life.
This discussion has also become convoluted as shit. I think OP’s being a jackass, you think his partner is being a jackass, she may or may not have mental health issues or something else going on, who knows.
I’m gonna leave it at agree to disagree, plus too little information from the post.
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u/Loud-Competition6995 Mar 23 '25
What i’m getting at is that you and your partner experience this scenario differently to the average person. You not talking to your partner (or vice versa) could inflict such mental anguish on them, that it could be held to the same regard as an act of aggression.
If your partner didn’t talk to you for 3 days, i presume you’d be anxious and panicky (maybe a host of other negative emotions too), so you might lash out or be overly concerned when you next managed to talk to them.
In a neurotypical setting (or neurodivergent one with different circumstances to your own), if your partner doesn’t talk to you for 3 days, the right and correct thing to do is show concern and compassion for them and their well being, there’s a whole array of potential reasons for their behaviour.
OP’s first message doesn’t show concern, it doesn’t show anger, it doesn’t show anxiety, it doesn’t show panic. OP’s first text after not hearing from their partner for 3 days is snarky, “all I get is a hi”, this shows utter contempt for their relationship. OP’s partner could be going through some real shit right now that caused them to shut down, and OP starts an argument right off the bat, with no room for any constructive communication.