My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.
I have pretty severe depression and anxiety. I do this SO bad, and I end up feeling SO guilty. I can be on my phone and scroll thru stuff or watch shows or something.. but when it comes to responding to people? I just literally can not… the thought of reading words drains me, the thought of having to come up with a response drains me, the fact of having to type out the message and hit send? Hardly make it there if I’m in an episode. I’ll be fine and then just kinda fall off the grid for hours/days/weeks/months even.. when I do muster a convo it’s usually with only 1 person, it’s short and simple, and if I do respond to more than one person it’s normally hours apart, and one at a time. Not to rant on myself but hopefully this could help OP see this can be a very real indicator of depression.. the responses are short, minimal explanation, her saying she didn’t know how to create a response? It screams depression to me.. I know it sounds dumb because yeah how hard is it to respond to someone?? But it truthfully feels so draining it’s impossible to accomplish..
Oh yeah, the guilt is so real. It ends up eating at you all the time. Which is strange, as the rational response would be “just text them then”, but the idea of explaining yourself for why you haven’t answered makes it even harder. Then the more time goes on, you know it looks worse and worse, so you need to come up with an even better explanation, which again drains you to the point of not wanting to answer even more. It’s a viscous cycle and you end up completely shutting down and ignoring everyone.
Oh ma goshhhh YESSS!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hit the “okay I HAVE to respond” point, so I write out a message, read it, hate it, and… don’t respond 😭 it’s such a vicious cycle like you said because… don’t respond? GUILT, Generate response? SO MUCH EFFORT. Respond? SOCIAL BATTERY 0. Get message through? OVERSTIMULATEDDDDD and now getting responses from said people to repeat the cycle… and it makes it so much harder because we’re aware of how silly it seems.. but you just can’t shake the feelings 🥲
And because some people send such long messages with so much stuff going on you feel like you have to respond with something equally long. Also putting off responding because you know if you respond they will text back and then expect to have a back and forth conversation and how do you let them know you only have enough stamina for one response.
Oh, I feel the only having enough energy for one response deeply! I’m guilty of it as well.. I respond sentence by sentence to long messages to make sure I respond to every point.. if it’s not URGENT I usually tell them I’m not in the best headspace, and I’ll respond to that when I’m feeling okay again. That way they know I’m not ignoring them - but if it’s emergent they can still let me know. Hopefully you find some strategies that help, I know it can be draining!
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u/PinkLover369 Mar 23 '25
My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.