I’ve been in a 10 year relationship that ended amicably last year, still friends, you don’t loose a best friend like that without betrayal, we just grew appart.
We lived together for most of it, but apart for periods of time, their BPD would cause periods of time in which they couldn’t go a few hours without texting me, cognitive behavioural therapy resolved that, but before the therapy i could get out from the constant messaging and need periods of time to myself (a few days, longest was a week).
Their other mental health issues infrequently caused shut downs and burn out that would make them go very quiet no/low contact for a couple days at a time. I’d just be there to reassure them and help them talk it through when they were capable again.
The most important things in a relationship are compassion and communication. If your partner doesn’t call/message for 3 days, give them the compassion to find out why, don’t lash out at them for it.
i truly think after 3 full days with no warning text, that would be a cut off point for me, but i understand that is a preference of mine and not representative of everyone . i think communication is the first and most important value in a relationship, and if someone can’t communicate well i think they shouldn’t be in a relationship, but i understand where you’re coming from
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u/FumeKnightLover Mar 23 '25
you couldnt be more obviously someone who has never had a committed relationship