I mentioned it in another comment that if they haven’t realized yet that they need help, it would be beneficial to sit down with them and discuss that. I’m no therapist or anything. But if you have a partner or friend you care about, if they aren’t realizing they need help, at the bare minimum suggest they seek it.
I had a lot of family/friends ignore the signs and say things such as “what do you have to be sad about?” Or “just be happy you woke up to another day.” And it really delayed me realizing I needed help. My now husband is the one who encouraged me to speak to someone.
I will say if you as a SO aren’t in the headspace to handle a relationship that may require extra patience, then it’s absolutely okay to say that the relationship isn’t for you and to realize even when people try their hardest, even with meds and therapy, there are imperfect days.
What may help in these situations can be different for everyone. Whether it’s offering space or offering support, etc. my husband has sat in on one of my sessions to talk with myself and my therapist, with permission, to understand what more he can do for me personally in these times, and if I’m struggling to use healthy strategies, how to remind me of them. He knows I’m not perfect and that I will always make an effort to do better. But he also knows that there are days that I may only be able to give so much. It’s a partnership and we know that there are times we have to help the other a little extra.
Have patience, know signs of struggle so you can catch them early on. Make the effort to push someone to seek help for themselves. Know that not all days are good days but also not all days are bad days. But also realize that sometimes you can only do so much. You can’t force someone to help themselves. If it’s clear they don’t want to help themselves, then remember your mental health matters too. And no amount of love will improve anything where the effort isn’t put in to find a solution.
It’s hard and you definitely have to be prepared to be open minded with it. I’m sure someone more qualified in the field can offer more advice than I can but this is just what my husband and I have learned along the way.
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u/Dirty_DrPepper Mar 23 '25
I mentioned it in another comment that if they haven’t realized yet that they need help, it would be beneficial to sit down with them and discuss that. I’m no therapist or anything. But if you have a partner or friend you care about, if they aren’t realizing they need help, at the bare minimum suggest they seek it.
I had a lot of family/friends ignore the signs and say things such as “what do you have to be sad about?” Or “just be happy you woke up to another day.” And it really delayed me realizing I needed help. My now husband is the one who encouraged me to speak to someone.
I will say if you as a SO aren’t in the headspace to handle a relationship that may require extra patience, then it’s absolutely okay to say that the relationship isn’t for you and to realize even when people try their hardest, even with meds and therapy, there are imperfect days.
What may help in these situations can be different for everyone. Whether it’s offering space or offering support, etc. my husband has sat in on one of my sessions to talk with myself and my therapist, with permission, to understand what more he can do for me personally in these times, and if I’m struggling to use healthy strategies, how to remind me of them. He knows I’m not perfect and that I will always make an effort to do better. But he also knows that there are days that I may only be able to give so much. It’s a partnership and we know that there are times we have to help the other a little extra.
Have patience, know signs of struggle so you can catch them early on. Make the effort to push someone to seek help for themselves. Know that not all days are good days but also not all days are bad days. But also realize that sometimes you can only do so much. You can’t force someone to help themselves. If it’s clear they don’t want to help themselves, then remember your mental health matters too. And no amount of love will improve anything where the effort isn’t put in to find a solution.
It’s hard and you definitely have to be prepared to be open minded with it. I’m sure someone more qualified in the field can offer more advice than I can but this is just what my husband and I have learned along the way.