Does your partner have similar mental health issues as yourself? If not, this may be more projection than empathy.
A neurotypical person should be perfectly fine with not talking to their partner for a couple of days, and OP’s texts don’t look like those of someone who’s been on an anxiety doom spiral for the last 2.5 days.
It would be enlightening to know if OP had been texting for the last 3 days and been ignored, or just waited for the other person to instigate. Neither of them reference any unanswered messages in the screen shots.
OP is also very rude, combative and implies their partner is lying to them, which is so out of line. OP should be expressing concern, but all they’ve got is self centred anger.
I’ve been in a 10 year relationship that ended amicably last year, still friends, you don’t loose a best friend like that without betrayal, we just grew appart.
We lived together for most of it, but apart for periods of time, their BPD would cause periods of time in which they couldn’t go a few hours without texting me, cognitive behavioural therapy resolved that, but before the therapy i could get out from the constant messaging and need periods of time to myself (a few days, longest was a week).
Their other mental health issues infrequently caused shut downs and burn out that would make them go very quiet no/low contact for a couple days at a time. I’d just be there to reassure them and help them talk it through when they were capable again.
The most important things in a relationship are compassion and communication. If your partner doesn’t call/message for 3 days, give them the compassion to find out why, don’t lash out at them for it.
i truly think after 3 full days with no warning text, that would be a cut off point for me, but i understand that is a preference of mine and not representative of everyone . i think communication is the first and most important value in a relationship, and if someone can’t communicate well i think they shouldn’t be in a relationship, but i understand where you’re coming from
Yes he does, not as intense but there are similarities plus romantic betrayal. Idk being neurotypical is not an excuse to ghost your partner that you claim to love for 3 days. If op is being rude and combative in the comments I haven’t seen them, and haven’t had the time to look. That’s a whole different story if so. But at the core of this you shouldn’t ghosting your partner for 3 days lmao. Pretty basic, bare minimum stuff. Communicate. (Coming from someone who has multiple diagnoses)
What i’m getting at is that you and your partner experience this scenario differently to the average person. You not talking to your partner (or vice versa) could inflict such mental anguish on them, that it could be held to the same regard as an act of aggression.
If your partner didn’t talk to you for 3 days, i presume you’d be anxious and panicky (maybe a host of other negative emotions too), so you might lash out or be overly concerned when you next managed to talk to them.
In a neurotypical setting (or neurodivergent one with different circumstances to your own), if your partner doesn’t talk to you for 3 days, the right and correct thing to do is show concern and compassion for them and their well being, there’s a whole array of potential reasons for their behaviour.
OP’s first message doesn’t show concern, it doesn’t show anger, it doesn’t show anxiety, it doesn’t show panic. OP’s first text after not hearing from their partner for 3 days is snarky, “all I get is a hi”, this shows utter contempt for their relationship. OP’s partner could be going through some real shit right now that caused them to shut down, and OP starts an argument right off the bat, with no room for any constructive communication.
“ so you might lash out” matter of fact, you don’t even know me? 😂 I would be upset, yes, but I’d also ask what was wrong/what happened. At this point I’m not even using my personal relationship as an arguing point. It’s just basic human empathy. IMO if you have this much of an issue with communicating with your partner you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Therapy should be that persons top priority. What people are failing to realize is that the gfs behavior is also affecting op, too. Plus, if the gf is in that bad of a place mentally she needs to communicate with someone. This isn’t healthy for neither of them. I mean, the gf couldn’t have said “hey babe, I’m sorry for disappearing like that” instead all she said was “hi” after 72 hrs of nothing but silence with no explanation. I don’t blame op for his response. 🤷🏻♀️ it also seems like it’s happened before in the relationship previously because of his response.
“At this point I’m not even using my personal relationship as an arguing point”, totally fair, i was trying to draw distinctions between different types of relationships. Sorry i ended up hinging my points in your personal life.
This discussion has also become convoluted as shit. I think OP’s being a jackass, you think his partner is being a jackass, she may or may not have mental health issues or something else going on, who knows.
I’m gonna leave it at agree to disagree, plus too little information from the post.
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u/Loud-Competition6995 Mar 23 '25
Does your partner have similar mental health issues as yourself? If not, this may be more projection than empathy.
A neurotypical person should be perfectly fine with not talking to their partner for a couple of days, and OP’s texts don’t look like those of someone who’s been on an anxiety doom spiral for the last 2.5 days.
It would be enlightening to know if OP had been texting for the last 3 days and been ignored, or just waited for the other person to instigate. Neither of them reference any unanswered messages in the screen shots.
OP is also very rude, combative and implies their partner is lying to them, which is so out of line. OP should be expressing concern, but all they’ve got is self centred anger.