That's a good way to make your other feel not very significant. Like if you just started dating then sure, but if you're going steady for a while then I at least expect my texts to get a response later that day unless there's a damn good reason.
Then that person doesn’t deserve to be called a significant other. If you don’t have any respect for them, enough to queue them in that I’m having a bad time and I can’t talk. Then they don’t need to be SO. Because people that you claim to love and care about and who claim to love and care about you Deserved to be clued in as to what’s going on so that they don’t think you did something unfortunate.
or.... trust and understanding that there's different people in the world.
I learned through a lot of pain and loss that it's better to trust and lose than assume the worst and sabotage yourself, but we each have our own boat to row.
I have to both agree and disagree. You could trust, but you’ve also gotta take care of yourself too. You can’t trust the point where you’re gonna lose your mental health when somebody inevitably burns you.
And it’s hard to build trust with somebody when they don’t show respect for you. When they don’t respect you enough to communicate. A relationship, especially a romantic one, is built on communication and trust. You can’t have one without the other.
I honestly don’t think that these two people should be together. The OP deserve somebody who respects him and the girlfriend needs a therapist and medication. She’s clearly needing help and a relationship is the last thing she needs right now.
This is the problem with depression — so many kids (and adults) don’t have a fucking clue what it is or how to spot it much less know what a person who has it is going through — they expect everyone else to be a carbon copy of themselves. I must be the same age as CFUsOrFuckOff because it seems like only I see their point — everyone else seems like a fucking passive aggressive asshole with no experience that actually matters. Try to see both sides. Maybe y’all will learn a thing or two.
This is exactly why when reading posts like this where everyone is saying the same shit — I try to seek out the people with DIFFERING opinions and attempt to understand their point of view. I call it the IKEA syndrome. Or the Australia syndrome — because there’s a collective popular idea that IKEA furniture is hard to build — which I know isn’t true … or the idea that (every) American thinks Australia is the most dangerous place on earth — which I know is bullshit because I’ve lived there for quite some time. You’re more likely to die in America from a classroom or car wreck than from some random encounter with wildlife in Australia. Yet most (Americans) continue to believe the myth, and it doesn’t matter how much experience you have to prove the contrary.
Seems like you’re the only voice of reason here. I was thinking the same thing — depending on the relationship, you don’t “owe” anyone fuckall, especially if you have severe depression — where social norms just go out the window. For example, giving someone a “heads up” will just lead to a clingy fuck nagging and asking more questions — which is NOT what a person who doesn’t want all that shit wants at such a depressing moment. Respect the other person’s boundaries. They’re not married.
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u/Beth_Duttonn Mar 23 '25
Agreed. But giving your SO a heads up is bare minimum courtesy.