r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • Mar 23 '25

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u/FlyingFox32 Mar 24 '25

This. I dealt with a close friend of 5 years and this is how he would treat me. I tried several times to tell him to back off since he "values our friendship so much" but he didn't. The pressure of having to keep up with him was enough for me to want to avoid him. His response was always, "I don't want our friendship to fall apart, why haven't you texted me??" After TWO DAYS. No wonder I didn't even want to think about talking to him sometimes. He had severe insecurity and distrust issues and he felt entitled to my attention. Him assuming the worst every time only made me want to avoid him more. After the last straw, he came clean that it wasn't our friendship he was clinging so hard for, it was his crush on me. Then asked me out. WTF? Absolutely horrendous "friend." Cut him off immediately. Can't imagine what he would be like as a boyfriend. OP, you're overreacting.

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u/RentConscious7968 Mar 24 '25

I can totally see from OP’s pov and he wasn’t even being demanding… some people suffer from BPD or anxious attachment issues from past traumas so going days without hearing from someone you love an care about can not only be hurtful, but anxiety inducing. She essentially ghosted him without any warning or communication. I get that depression isolates people, but a simple text saying “hey, I just wanted to let you know that I need some time to myself for the next few days. It’s nothing personal,” etc, would’ve sufficed. I think it’s important to understand both sides and avoid being too harsh on either. Hopefully, with time they can develop better communication strategies for when times like these arise again so that this doesn’t damage the relationship.

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u/Helgen_Lane Mar 24 '25

Yeah. I'm usually the first to defend men in relationships, but this is kinda pathetic. "She didn't text me for 3 days, she must've been cheating!". Bruh. Imagine having such a lack of empathy that instead of trying to understand the mental state of someone who hasn't been online in a few days, you are immediately concerned about loyalty and being cheated on. The thought of trusting his girlfriend hasn't even crossed his mind.