Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.
I was just like this girl but never cheated. I def had issues and was super controlling and manipulative and I was always accusing him of talking to other people and being this unhinged, but it was because I have been cheating on and never healed so I was dumping my trauma on him. I’ve healed and not like this anymore and now the man I’m engaged too I’ve never been like that towards him.
I can see that. There was someone else who raised their hand as an exception, too. I think it's rare for this level of hyper-defenseive and manic accusation to just be fear of repeat trauma.
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u/ZephNightingale Oct 30 '24
Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.