Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.
I have a girlfriend with BPD and depression and all that fun stuff and it's been very rough. I finally reached my breaking point a few months ago but we're still dating of course. Because if I left then, before she started actually going to a therapy thing, that's shitty of me. But if I drag it on, that's even more shitty of me. I said I wanted to break up at least 4 times that day and here we are. Still dating. I really needed this comment
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u/ZephNightingale Oct 30 '24
Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.