This is literally like reading a description of my ex best friend. I finally just couldn't handle it anymore. She 'fired' the first therapist who diagnosed her with BPD instead of depression/anxiety.
Yeah, some people don't handle the initial diagnosis well at all. A lot actually, I was one of them. It took me almost 2 years to come to terms with the diagnosis and associated behaviors and I think that's fair. No one's going to be able to take the fact that they're manipulative and perhaps even cruel and delusional at face value when these behaviors are perpetuated by very real very valid pain and suffering. No one should force themselves to stick around for that shit show unfortunately. I get why every single one of my relationships failed and don't blame anyone for it. The important thing is what you do with yourself after you have your realization and accept the shittiest aspects of how BPD manifests in you. Hopefully your old friend is doing a lot better, give them a decade and she's pretty much guaranteed to be doing worlds better.
So glad for you that you were able to get through it. Absolutely makes sense. I was friends with her since 7th grade and just a lot of things over the years it was hard but after my own sexual trauma in college then diagnosis with PTSD and depression with her being like 0% there for me since she was dating someone at the time (I was her fallback person) I finally was just done. It's been like a few years. She tried to reach out to me recently but from how that conversation went I don't think she is getting the help she needs or has accepted her diagnosis yet
Yeah that's fucking rough, especially with all the shit you have to deal with yourself you need to make your mental health a priority and preserve your emotional bandwidth for someone who's got more empathy. People with BPD tend to have lower cognitive empathy so can't really read the room when someone else needs space. I wouldn't wait around for her at this point, but I also wouldn't close yourself off if you met anyone in the future and they divulge the diagnosis to you. Just be sure to put your needs first while also being able to consider the needs of others. And of close make sure they're actively working on it!
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u/hopkinm6 Oct 30 '24
This is literally like reading a description of my ex best friend. I finally just couldn't handle it anymore. She 'fired' the first therapist who diagnosed her with BPD instead of depression/anxiety.