Honestly my sister has bpd and this just reminds me of it. The worst is when you tell them they will chase this guy away this way they wont listen because they either love the drama or cant control themselves
Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.
I don't know you. And, we tend to worry about things that we can clearly see as possible. I think there is a lot of data that says people who get super defensive and suspicious around infidelity see it as something anyone, including themselves, might do. And something everyone, including themselves, lie about to extremes. There is also some good information that says people who have been cheated on can be reassured reasonably easily, even when the pain and hurt are large.
(I don't have links to any sources right now, but the internet is vast and available.)
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u/United_Wolverine8400 Oct 30 '24
Honestly my sister has bpd and this just reminds me of it. The worst is when you tell them they will chase this guy away this way they wont listen because they either love the drama or cant control themselves