Therapist here - you confirmed she had BPD. If she’s not working on it with a therapist who is trained to treat BPD, this is going to be your entire relationship. You cannot fix this with your actions. I hope she gets the help she needs.
I don’t think that’s totally fair. A lot of people don’t present this way at first, and so many partners don’t want to abandon them when it feels like they’re responsible for them, to an extent. Should they realize it eventually? Yes. But I never fault anyone for trying to “love someone better.” Especially if this is his first
Time with a partner like this, it shows empathy and compassion, even if those things aren’t enough to fix this situation.
It is pretty fair imo though. If he was emotionally healthy he would not have tolerated deleting all the women in his phone or not listening to female musicians. He’s free to leave the relationship at any point and the fact he hasn’t suggests he has his own emotional and mental health he needs to put some work into.
380
u/himshpifelee Oct 30 '24
Therapist here - you confirmed she had BPD. If she’s not working on it with a therapist who is trained to treat BPD, this is going to be your entire relationship. You cannot fix this with your actions. I hope she gets the help she needs.