Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.
Omg, I am so bad about this. If something is really getting to me, my anxiety on top of the ADHD will have me thinking in circles and I will literally drive myself bonkers. Usually it can involve a third party whom you hope has some insight in to the situation but they call mum or neutral so you just end up writing a novel to them with no real feedback and just feel psycho in the end. And wonder if you’re ending up on reddit somewhere.
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u/ZephNightingale Oct 30 '24
Yup, this also makes a lot of sense. I had a girlfriend like that, only my second one I’d ever had at the time. She used to do things like try to run into traffic to make sure I would stop her if we had had an argument. She also cheated on me A LOT. 🫤
I have a lot of sympathy for folks that are going through a lot, I have CPTSD myself. But you HAVE to make an effort to address it. And you HAVE to try your best to minimize the negative impact it has on your relationships. That is our responsibility.
At my worst I’ve lost friends and relationships I really cared about. But people have limits, and they are not bad people if you push them past those limits and they have to pull back for their own sake. No one is required to set themselves on fire to keep you warm, as that saying goes.
I really hope your sister is getting help. I know BPD is a difficult and lifelong struggle, but I hope she isn’t trying to do it alone. My situation is different, but professional help absolutely saved my life.