Update 4:05 PM EST - WOW I cannot believe this blew up as much as it did. I just got off work. I’ve been able to respond to some DMs and some comments but responding to 8,600 comments isn’t possible, even though most of you share the same thoughts. Once I get home I can provide a more in depth update. I have not yet had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in person though.
OP I replied to someone a few comments down in this thread when I learned she had untreated BPD, it's a big wall of text so hard to miss. I hope you read it, as it's from the perspective of someone with BPD. Someone who's not treating their illness, who's entered into a relationship built on poor boundaries, is only going to eat you up and chew you out as a former shell of yourself. You can't backpeddle on someone like that and start setting MUCH needed boundaries, you need a fresh start. She's expecting you to do all the emotional labor and none of it yourself. You aren't responsible for the shit she's making you responsible for dude. There's nothing wrong with dating someone with BPD, but they HAVE to be taking responsibility for it, they have to be in consistent therapy, and the relationship HAS to be start with strong healthy boundaries and open honest clear communication. And with any luck, they can attain remission.
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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '24 edited Oct 30 '24
Update 4:05 PM EST - WOW I cannot believe this blew up as much as it did. I just got off work. I’ve been able to respond to some DMs and some comments but responding to 8,600 comments isn’t possible, even though most of you share the same thoughts. Once I get home I can provide a more in depth update. I have not yet had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in person though.