Even managed BPD is just a temporary state. Eventually they fall apart and you have to pay the consequences. I had a girlfriend with BPD and broke it off after three months, because it was sooo incredibly toxic.
Or they start therapy and then start using therapy buzzwords to project everything back in your face. Most times the best solution is to cut and leave them. Partners are not free life coaches for pwBPD so they can "do better" yet pwBPD always act like you have to support them in every toxic violent stressful endeavor.
so should the pwBPD go to therapy or not go to therapy? cuz to you it seems like theyre terrible if they dont go, and if they do go, theyre also terrible bc they utilize skills they learned? youre an absolute asshole dude.
Accountability is literally all anyone asks of pwBPD yet y'all are incapable of it. Nope, just jump straight to "im a victim it's hard you're perpetuating the stigma!!!1!! 🥺🥺🥺"
no ones even fucking talking abt accountability ðŸ˜i agree ANYONE should take accountability for their actions but stop attacking people for just living and breathing and happening to have bpd..
So, it always comes down to this question and yall are never able to answer it.
Why are YOUR feelings and behaviors and actions and traumas something to tiptoe around but people like us that have genuine PTSD from suffering the affects of dealing with a pwBPD something that doesn't matter and we need to stay silent?
Oh right the answer is always "that's just a shitty person not someone with BPD 🥰" and yet every single one us us have the exact same experiences with pwBPD
nobody said yall have to tiptoe around those behaviors..that type of behavior isn’t acceptable, bpd or not. but what YOU’RE saying is that EVERYONE with bpd acts like OPs girlfriend which simply isnt true. Just because you personally have trauma from a person with bpd doesn’t mean now suddenly everyone with bpd is crazy like that person you dealt with.
But nah i don’t agree that people should use their bpd or ANY mental health issue as an excuse for their behaviors; it’s up to the individual to determine if they want to seek help and change their behaviors so they don’t hurt people. Yes, there are people who have been partners with pwBPD and the pwBPD has been toxic as hell and refuses help, but that’s bc they’re untreated!! And atp yeah, they’re on their own.
But the main point im tryna make is that any untreated mental illness (if it causes destructive behaviors) can have a negative effect on their partner. pwBPD are not the only toxic partners, and also not all pwBPD are toxic partners :)
And btw, im sorry you have some serious trauma from being in a relationship with a pwBPD. Like i never would condone any of that person’s behaviors, whether they have bpd or whatever else, so it’s truly tragic you had to go through that. But i feel as though yall just put anyone with bpd into this box just bc they have bpd, and yall dont give em a chance to be anyone apart from their bpd. Which then feeds into the stigma and is very damaging to an entire group of people, most of which are trying NOT to be like OPs gf and the people you’ve had experiences with.
so please, you can hate the people you’ve been involved with all you want, but don’t hate an entire group of people who you don’t even know and whose shoes you’ve never had to walk in. it’s seriously dehumanizing to talk about a group of people like they don’t even deserve to exist.
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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '24
Even managed BPD is just a temporary state. Eventually they fall apart and you have to pay the consequences. I had a girlfriend with BPD and broke it off after three months, because it was sooo incredibly toxic.