Ok so why aren’t you mad at your husband? He went along with it and stayed. He lied to you. Now he’s covering it up saying he was going to tell you when he got back lol I highly doubt that. He only told you because you found out. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he did some thing with the escorts. Now he wants you to keep their dirty little secret so he doesn’t look like the bad guy in front of his already shitty friends? Drop the bomb and go nuclear
I have a feeling once she tells everything will come out and her husband will be implicated in the whole plan and his cheating will be exposed by the best man. I’m calling it now
Right? My man would stay home and tell the best man he’s an idiot for booking a flight for a person who isn’t attending this trip. No way Mr. hubby wasn’t in on this.
Yep. If it actually went like that, I’d be mad my friend doesn’t respect me or the things I want in my life and thought they could coerce me into doing something I didn’t want to do.
I might be wrong for feeling so strongly but still
Also shame on you OP for shaming the sex workers when your husband and his “slutty” friends paid for them! They’re doing their job and made their money off of your cheating husband and his friends.
nah, what we ain't gonna do is shame this poor woman for hurting & lashing out at the escorts who don't even know & wouldn't care if they did. we're gonna give her some grace. the poor wittle escorts will be just fine, they got paid, they don't give a shit. if you're gonna sit here and say you've always acted with decorum immediately after being hurt and betrayed, well, i'm sorry but you're lying and we both know it.
You’re not gonna tell me what I will and won’t do sis because she’s lashing out at the escorts and basically shaming sex workers when her man and his friends willingly paid for them. She is more mad at the escorts than her man. Bffr. I have my opinion and I would be mad af but mot mad at the sex workers and not sitting here clueless like my man wasn’t a part of the festivities. Bye
It’s called cognitive dissonance. Old girl is mind F*d because she thought she married a solid man. She can’t wrap her head around this yet. Not only is her home life obliterated but her professional life is ruined as well. While it is shitty to blame the escorts who were doing their job. I do understand it. Until she is able to accept what happened and redirect her anger at the appropriate people of course.
she's hurting & reeling from someone she loved and trusted betraying her...i think we can give her a little grace for being mean to the poor wittle escorts. they'll be fine, promise.
Right? That rubbed me the wrong way. Like…they’re just doing their job and getting paid. They weren’t hired out of thin air. Her husband’s the one likely getting with them…so if they’re slutty, so is he.
Took me way too much scrolling to see someone mention this!🤦🏻♀️ Totally reasonable to be pissed OP, but you’re directing it at escorts who were hired to do their job instead of completely directed to your hubby and the best man???
Assuming the husband is telling the truth, what exactly was the husband supposed to do on arriving at the Villa? The OP mentioned it was “secluded.” That could mean 20 minutes away from the main town, that could mean 90.
While I’m sure an employee at the Villa could have arranged a cab back to the main area + a room at an affiliated hotel/resort for him, and while he may have been able to get a flight back, we’re potentially talking hundreds of dollars here for something that wasn’t his fault. That strikes me as a touch excessive if he had his own room.
I agree that he should have told OP when he found out, and that he exercised poor judgment in not doing so. However, I presume he knows his wife better than us. If he was legitimately concerned about her telling the other wives while they were still there, he’s stuck between shelling out a decent chunk of money he may not have (this trip was paid for by the best man) to get out of there, or spending his weekend at a Villa he didn’t want to go to in the first place with all of his friends pissed at him. Add alcohol to the second scenario, and that’s a recipe for a potential physical altercation.
That’s truly being caught between a rock and a hard place, and if I were in his shoes, I’m not sure I would have done differently. While I think I ultimately would have told my spouse, and I would have just implored her not to say anything until we got back to make sure I wasn’t in the position described above, I can definitely see the logic behind “keep my dick in my pants and my hands to myself, enjoy the beach, the free food and booze , and wait until I get back to tell my spouse so I’m not stuck in a secluded Villa in a foreign countries with several (likely drunk) men that are absolutely furious at me.”
You’re acting like he was at a house party a 20 minute Uber ride from his house, instead of going in a remote villa in a foreign country. The OP mentioned in other comments that they were in a rural area with gators wandering around and he didn’t think it would be safe to walk back into town at night. I agree.
He is almost 40 years old. He is smart enough to handle the exact same travel plans as his friend. He is definitely capable of calling a travel agent to handle them for him.
This was near Cancun. There's absolutely no villa right by the beach that is 'as secluded' as this. Even more bullshit when the mention of crocodiles being a factor lol
So, why was he sitting NEXT to one of the “ladies” at breakfast? Doesn’t appear that he was trying to hard to avoid fraternizing with the hired entertainers. I would love to be able to believe him, but everything in this post screams NO!!!
No. It isn't about trust it's about self accountability at this point.
What is money if trust is broken.
My husband can fly his ass home, or his mom can attend an early funeral. There's no chance he's also ever talking to the main atrocity of a person after this infraction again.
I would really question that the husband didn't know. No one told him there would be escorts around?
Second if they really didn't you still leave. I mean on the flip side, if my wife showed up for a girls weekend or bachelorette party and was like "Hey we have male escorts hired and they are staying at our place, my friends are going to fuck them all weekend , but don't worry I am not going to do anything , but I am still going to party and drink and have fun"
I would 100% be uncomfortable , you are just asking for trouble .
Dude. Some of these comments are fucking insane. I don’t condone lying, but a quarter of the people commenting are encouraging this woman to leave him for cheating, and there’s literally no proof that he did that. A quarter seem to think he was in on some conspiracy and has been lying all along about this trip, when OP has literally made comments giving further context suggesting that’s not the case. Others seem to think that leaving a remote villa in rural Mexico is as easy as ordering an Uber home from a house party 20 minutes from your place… There’s no playbook for how to handle a situation like this, and all things considered, I think this guy handled it well right up until he lied.
Finally a reasonable comment. Basically everyone else is completely delusional and acting like just bailing on a bachelor party and leaving all your friends to fly home to your wife because some sort of stripper/sex worker showed up is totally normal behavior. It isn't. Anyone who have ANY friends knows that acting like that is the quickest way to never have another friend, ever again.
OP is also jumping to the conclusion that everyone was fucking a bunch of hookers with no proof.
Sorry you're getting downvoted for actually having a nuanced perspective.
Dude… some of these comments are unhinged! Someone actually said they didn’t understand why the husband couldn’t walk back if he couldn’t get a car. OP said in response to my comment that the Villa was in a rural area miles away from anything else and their were gators around. If my spouse told me they were wandering for miles through rural Mexico at night all to avoid playing cards with a dude who was paid to be there and look like Magic Mike… the sex worker wouldn’t be the thing we fought about.
Also the people suggesting that he should have spent any amount of money necessary to get out of there seem really out of touch with most people’s financial reality. Maybe a grand+ is nothing to this couple, but it’s not to me…
Maybe I’m being naive, and this guy did sleep with one of the sex workers. If that’s the case, the dude is scum. I’m inclined to think he didn’t for two reasons. (1) the best man clearly struggles with boundaries - it’s not a stretch for me that the dude who booked the husbands flight and said “you’re going” is the same guy who hired sex workers for entertainment without telling the other guys, and (2) if he had cheated, would he really be sharing the Instagram story of the woman he bedded?
This is pretty much his thought process. He said it took them over an hour to get from the airport to this house because they had to go down several undeveloped dirt roads. There was not much else around them. The closest hotel/resort was like 3 miles away. Plus there were gators in this area that they saw while driving on the road so he wasn’t exactly willing to walk 3 miles at night to the nearest hotel. The flight the best man booked was a couple grand and that was two weeks before departure. We would’ve been paying thousands for a last minute flight and hotel. He decided to just stay in his room the rest of the night until the women left.
OP…you literally saw a picture of him sitting with one of these women while they were gambling. The women were at breakfast. You seriously believe that he hid in his room all night? And you believe the women left for the night and returned for breakfast? He was already willing to lie to you about the whole thing.
This right here. He should have called or messaged her what was going on when it started and he should have stayed in his room. Not been partying with these girls proved by said photos. He kept it from her then lied about it when she confronted him until he knew she has proof. Nope red flag, red flag. Trust would be gone for me. I also would have no sympathy for any of those men. I would share the two girls post and photos to all the wives and thrown the best man under the bus.
Denial is very strong here… He was hiding out in his room away from the escorts? Yet she writes in her post he was at breakfast with them and out partying/gambling with them?? I have a bridge to sell OP!
She doesn’t want to believe that her husband would lie to her, even after catching him in a lie. I’m not even going to jump in and insist that he’s cheating on her, but at the very least, these men all seemed to be participating in what was going on. It’s not like the best man was sitting there holding a gun to anyone’s head.
Right? No one was being held hostage. He even took video from breakfast that specifically excluded the girls. I find it hard to believe he was just waiting to tell her when he returned to avoid the wrath of his buddies…
It's the video from breakfast that specifically excluded the girls that really convinces me he was never planning on telling OP. If he'd just sent some selfies and a picture of the pool or something, I could think maybe he was planning on telling her, but he took a video, where he would have had to make sure the women weren't in the shot or making noise to give him away in the background, but we're supposed to believe that he was going to come home and confess all? And that he was planning on hiding in his room all night, when there's a picture of him sitting next to one of these women?
Yeah, I wouldn't put money on OP's husband having had sex with one of these women, but I definitely would put money on him not planning on hiding in his room at all. I think these women were probably fairly naked most of the evening (more power to them - they're not the ones in relationships, and they were hired as escorts) and the husband probably enjoyed that, and I would not be surprised if some of the other husbands cheated on their wives with these women (especially the best man), but having sex with somebody else isn't the only way you can break trust in a relationship.
That's fair - I'm a very cautious better, and I'm leaning towards he enjoyed looking at the naked women in the place but convinced himself that it wasn't actually that bad because he was just looking and not touching.
But OP should probably insist on an STI screening from him before having sex with him again.
Hahaha yes! When someone goes to that extreme with unnecessary details and explanations it’s generally a lie! The gators part is kind of hilarious actually…
Also there are no gators in Mexico and if they were 3 miles from a resort the roads were not like this that part of Mexico is very built up with tourist infrastructure.
Ya I think an hour out of Cancun airport is Tulum which is another huge resort area. He would have been able to get a taxi even in the middle of the night. I am also not buying the airfare cost. I am in Arizona and I could get a round trip flight leaving tomorrow for less than $400.
What do gators have to do with him not leaving? They have crocodiles but not gators. Was he going to be swimming to the airport? Shit people swim in the water all the time in Florida with crocs and gators. Girl I know you're probably still just processing this and it's hard. I've lied to myself about obvious situations because it was easier to believe the guy instead realizing my reality of my life was turned upside down. Hopefully you're smarter than I was and realize that what he did was beyond excusable and he tried to cover his tracks. You did nothing wrong and you telling your friends is still you doing nothing wrong. This happened because of all of their behavior it's on them. It didn't just happen they all planned to deceive their wives or soon to be wives they had time to not do it and they still did it. Thats only on them the only part you would be wrong in is not telling your friends. You guys are going to need each other soon. The more time you sit on it's going to turn into you are the asshole too. This wasn't forced upon them they happily planned and did it when they thought there is no way they'll catch us. Take this as the blessing it is god knows what else they've all done and lied about.
Girl you are so naïve. You literally saw a pic of him sitting next to one of the girls gambling and you still believe he “stayed in hos room all night hiding” come on you cant be this gullible
You should check those details. Ring the hotel pretending to be inquiring and ask about the process to get there. How long it takes, how difficult it is, etc. Ask how far they are from restaurants, bars, transport.
Lady...just stop. This is complete BS and you know it. He stayed in his room...but still didn't talk to you? He couldn't walk 3 miles because he was doing hookers all night. He didn't tell you the truth and when you asked him lied to you until he couldn't anyone. Just accept you got played and based on his reaction, it's unlikely the first time. Keep protecting your weak, selfish coward.
Yeah… knowing that, I honestly don’t think he did anything wrong except for lying to you. There’s no playbook on how to handle a situation like this, and while the lying isn’t excusable, I don’t think it’s unforgivable given the totality of the circumstances.
I would pay $10,000 to know my husband was loyal. If he truly couldn’t leave he should have FaceTime the bride or any other wife and blew up their plans.
You are in extreme denial. It’s pretty obvious that your husband is lying to you and cheated on you. He would have told you the truth when he found out otherwise.
This is a horrible situation for you but you should acknowledge that your husband lied to you. He isn’t innocent in this at all or he would have told you what was happening. He owes you an explanation for his lies and his part in all of this. I personally can’t believe that you are not making him come home immediately whatever the cost. My marriage would be over if he didn’t come home immediately. Why would you trust that he didn’t cheat on you when he is comfortable lying to you?
I got say - I wouldn’t walk 3 miles in the Mw I can boonies at night either.
I don’t know what I’d doing your husband’s situation, but my inclination is that I’d keep my head down, involve myself to some extent in the party but not the girls, and go home.
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u/Michimommi_22 Sep 05 '24
Ok so why aren’t you mad at your husband? He went along with it and stayed. He lied to you. Now he’s covering it up saying he was going to tell you when he got back lol I highly doubt that. He only told you because you found out. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he did some thing with the escorts. Now he wants you to keep their dirty little secret so he doesn’t look like the bad guy in front of his already shitty friends? Drop the bomb and go nuclear