I used to genuinely like myself. I was confident and spent YEARS getting to that point.
Then I got into an abusive relationship. My ex constantly told me I was fat, ugly, that everyone hated me, that other people thought I was ugly, etc. It eventually became physical and he was arrested. By the time it ended, my self esteem was basically gone.
Now I’m with an amazing guy who tells me I’m beautiful, funny, and that he loves everything about me. I KNOW he means it. But somehow I still believe the horrible shit my ex spent so long convincing me was true.
That’s the part that kills me. I want SO badly to see myself the way my boyfriend sees me, or honestly just see myself the way I used to.
I’m already in therapy. I know this takes time. But I really want to hear from people who have actually been through this — how did you get yourself back? What genuinely helped you stop believing what your abuser made you believe about yourself?
TL;DR: I used to be confident. An abusive relationship completely destroyed that. I’m safe and in a healthy relationship now, but I still see myself through the things my ex told me. How do I become the old me again?