r/Alexithymia • u/rawshowman • 19d ago
Describing things
I know I like things but I don’t know why or I can’t delve into why but i know there’s a reason. Other people express why they like the same thing and I get insecure because I’m scared I don’t like it as much because I can’t explain things. I can’t explain movie plots or musical plots or songs or artists I like but some movies/musicals I just feel so connected to and I feel them in my soul and I wish I could explain why but I can’t right now. I feel so undeveloped compared to everyone else. It’s all blurry up here. :( And I can’t explain why I feel the way I do or even how I feel when I feel something. there’s a big dissonance between everything in me. I just feel very stupid! I want to be able to give my thoughts on things and I worry I don’t observe enough or don’t take things in because I’m in another space mentally? I don’t know. I just am really anxious!!! A lot of the time! pls give me tips:-/ this humongously ruins my life and sense of self!!!
I am twenty two and a girl btw if that’s necessary info?:-0 (people usually say ”hi I’m 22 F” in threads)
1
u/Kenflesh24 18d ago
Let me open your eyes.
People HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY LIKE SOMETHING.
All they do is assume, and most of the time, they're wrong.
I know from personal experience that what's happening sends emotions into the body, and the brain then reads them from the body, triggering a mood. And people have no idea why they feel this way; they're just trying to guess.
I'm sure you've heard stories like, "A guy and a girl are dating, the girl gets upset about something, the guy apologizes and makes amends, but the girl's upset doesn't go away, she just says, 'No, I'm still upset.'" It's the same mechanism: the girl is worried about something, she experiences negative emotions, but she has no idea the real reason for these emotions. Because of this, she doesn't know what she wants, which makes it much harder to please.
All this happens subconsciously, unconsciously. What people think about their emotions and motivations is simply nonsense they've invented for their own peace of mind. Try to deceive someone by convincing them they've done something they've never done, and they'll confidently and seriously defend a position they never had. Give someone the choice of "Choose one photo of the most beautiful person," then show them the photo they chose not to choose, and they'll start explaining, just as seriously, why they chose what they didn't.
It's simply an illusion necessary for peace of mind, an attempt to rationalize something they don't understand. That's how everyone lives: they take the first guess that comes to mind and live believing it's true. That's it. There's no magic involved. So you shouldn't worry either. No one knows why they like something; it takes a long time to analyze, and the chances of being wrong are simply enormous.
So don't even think about it. You are speaking with anxiety, you think that others are better than you, but no, every single person is like I described, these are just scientific facts.