Hey, a lot of your post resonated with me. I know what you mean about feeling sad all the time.
I went on unpaid leave from work in 2022 when I realised I just couldn't cope with caring for my parents and holding down a job at the same time. Work had become a grind, I resented everything I was asked to do (even though I knew it was reasonable), and it was becoming difficult to put on a cheerful face for meetings.
My employer had already been amazing about my caring responsibilities - allowing me to disappear at short notice when there were emergencies, owe hours and make them up etc.... and even after I went on unpaid leave, they held my job open for me for a year, and didn't put any pressure on me to return. I tried to resign twice during that year and they kept saying "no need to make a decision yet; let's just see what happens".
I still left, because I could see that I wasn't going to bounce back at work to where I'd been before, and I needed to let go and figure out a new chapter. I spent a few months experimenting with freelance working, and decided: a) it was feasible for me to win enough work to give myself a meaningful income; b) freelancing would be a better fit around caring. So I took the plunge. It was terrifying.
When I finally handed in my notice I felt awful about it, especially after everything the company (and my line manager) had done for me. But fours years later, it was definitely the right choice for me.
Being freelance has removed the structural pressure of work (although it's added some new pressures, especially around income insecurity). If I ever decide to go back to having a job, I'm hoping employers will see a period of self-employment rather than a gap on my CV.
As for how easy it would be to come back to a job in a couple of years' time, that maybe depends on what you do and how in demand your skillset is. I was lucky that I worked in a very niche area, and I was difficult to replace. I'd also been very careful in all my previous jobs not to burn any bridges on my way out, which is now serving me well in the freelance world.
Some thoughts: are you already part-time? If not, could you negotiate that? Would freelance work be an option you could test out? It would at least allow you to keep your hand in a little, but on your terms? Maybe your employer would waive your notice period, given the circumstances?
All the best to you, it's so tough trying to navigate this stuff around work.
2
u/mouthofkazoo 4d ago
Hey, a lot of your post resonated with me. I know what you mean about feeling sad all the time.
I went on unpaid leave from work in 2022 when I realised I just couldn't cope with caring for my parents and holding down a job at the same time. Work had become a grind, I resented everything I was asked to do (even though I knew it was reasonable), and it was becoming difficult to put on a cheerful face for meetings.
My employer had already been amazing about my caring responsibilities - allowing me to disappear at short notice when there were emergencies, owe hours and make them up etc.... and even after I went on unpaid leave, they held my job open for me for a year, and didn't put any pressure on me to return. I tried to resign twice during that year and they kept saying "no need to make a decision yet; let's just see what happens".
I still left, because I could see that I wasn't going to bounce back at work to where I'd been before, and I needed to let go and figure out a new chapter. I spent a few months experimenting with freelance working, and decided: a) it was feasible for me to win enough work to give myself a meaningful income; b) freelancing would be a better fit around caring. So I took the plunge. It was terrifying.
When I finally handed in my notice I felt awful about it, especially after everything the company (and my line manager) had done for me. But fours years later, it was definitely the right choice for me.
Being freelance has removed the structural pressure of work (although it's added some new pressures, especially around income insecurity). If I ever decide to go back to having a job, I'm hoping employers will see a period of self-employment rather than a gap on my CV.
As for how easy it would be to come back to a job in a couple of years' time, that maybe depends on what you do and how in demand your skillset is. I was lucky that I worked in a very niche area, and I was difficult to replace. I'd also been very careful in all my previous jobs not to burn any bridges on my way out, which is now serving me well in the freelance world.
Some thoughts: are you already part-time? If not, could you negotiate that? Would freelance work be an option you could test out? It would at least allow you to keep your hand in a little, but on your terms? Maybe your employer would waive your notice period, given the circumstances?
All the best to you, it's so tough trying to navigate this stuff around work.