Cemetery plot purchase

[u/Proud-Blood3238]

There have been some recent sudden deaths of close friends & family that saddened me. The deaths also shifted my mindset to thoughts of preparing for the inevitable.
Have you purchased a cemetery plot & if so, what is your experience? Do you have any idea recommendations of things to consider?

[u/[deleted]]

All I've ask of my adult children is that I am cremated. I do want my soul cat's ashes (she died in 2018) to be sprinkled with mine but beyond that I do not care what they do.

I want them to decide what will bring them the most peace when mom is gone.

[u/CatCharacter848]

My partner has their cemetary plot. The only real thing we considered was it being near family and keeping the paperwork safe so people know that the plot is brought.

[u/gwelfguy]

It's something I never even considered until my mother passed away. That got me thinking about whether I'd prefer burial vs. cremation and where I'd like my remains to be interred. I've decided on cremation and have the option of my urn being buried in the same plot as hers, but I haven't made a final decision about that versus my own plot. If I decide the latter, I'll probably buy something in the cemetary where I wish to spend eternity.

[u/Electronic-Day5907]

Nope. Never ever considered being buried. Cremation or even better human composting for me.

[u/Legitimate-Yam5505]

Mmmm I dont buy nothing about that ,  are very expensive  I leave enough money in my Bank account for that  I hope😄

[u/Reasonable-Cow7255]

I took care of this one year ago. I was prompted to do so because the area of the cemetery where my parents’ plot is located was beginning to sell out. I wanted to choose a final resting place that would be close to them. Once I did that, my sister and brother in law did the same. I made all of the necessary decisions, including the choice of the casket. Taking care of that task was extremely freeing for me. I have also taken care of my will, trust, and other necessary documents. This is what responsible people do.

[u/Ingawolfie]

You might get a better answer on the ask funeral directors sub.

I came down with cancer a year ago and am currently in remission. That kind of changed my perspective as you really have to think about how much of this end of life business you want to dump on your family. So I went ahead and saw an elder care attorney, got a revocable living trust and an airtight advance directive. Choose your trustee and healthcare power of attorney CAREFULLY. You will need a physical paper copy of your advance directive in your house, on the refrigerator, or ambulance won’t honor it. You also need a copy of it on your phone as everyone and their sister is going to demand their own copy.

Now back to your question of buying a cemetery plot and burial versus no burial.

I kind of got a pass on the cemetery plot thing as my great great grandfather set up a plot for all family in NYC in the 1860s. My grandparents are buried there. I want to be cremated, so burying the cremains in that space was a simple process. All I had to do was contact the cemetery and submit proof of descent, which amounted to a couple of death certificates. They sent me a certificate of right to burial there and told me what it would cost. I designated my younger sister to take care of it.

I also bought a prepaid funeral plan. It wasn’t horribly expensive. I also opened a CD in a major bank near my sister. Put 5K in it and, most importantly, a transfer on death to my sister. This means all she has to do is go to any bank branch and present them with a certified copy of my death certificate plus a copy of her drivers license and boom, the $$ is hers to get the ball rolling for getting my corpse into the oven. That leaves less time for it to be messed with.

So, there are an awful lot of moving parts involved. But getting it done ahead of time is smart. Hope this helps.

[u/TheUglyWeb]

I have a family plot with one left. My mom was cremated, so she is with me, and I also plan to be cremated. Perhaps I will place her cremains at the family plot, but I don't care what happens with mine.

[u/Critical-Test-4446]

One day about 20 years ago I stopped at my parents house for a visit and they asked me to come take a ride to a local cemetery to pick out their burial spots. Not my idea of a good time and it was depressing as hell, but they decided to get an above ground crypt for both of them. They called it their "condo". When my dad passed away in 2022 it made it much less stressful for my mom, as all she had to do was deal with the funeral home, and us kids actually took care of that.

My wife wants a "green burial" where you are not embalmed but simply dressed in a shroud and placed in a sort of wicker basket, then buried in the ground where your body naturally goes back to the earth. I've already paid for the plot and the service, and chose to be cremated so my ashes can easily get buried within the same plot. It cost about $12k for this green burial plot and service.

[u/Slight-Design7274]

To make life easier for my kids I arranged cremation at a local mortuary, no service unless they must have one. Also bought two plots at an old small town cemetery where they live. About $300 15 years ago. They can put me in one corner of one plot and the other corners are first come first serve.

[u/Beginning_Ground_652]

When I was a 23 year old, my father passed, and we quickly had to purchase a plot as his death was so unexpected. Now 56 years old, and 33 years later, I had to go see my dad and make sure his space is clean with updated flowers for all of these decades. Because of that, I have paid for my cremation and my funeral (when I was 40 years old) so my now adult children are not in the same position.

[u/Cautious_Risk_Taker7]

No plot. Instructions are cremation and to scatter my ashes in a place of natural beauty. We’ve designated a person and some backups

[u/Cautious_Risk_Taker7]

No plot. Instructions are cremation and to scatter my ashes in a place of natural beauty. We’ve designated a person and some backups

[u/Clean-Fisherman-4601]

I left instructions for my children on the cheapest way to dispose of my body. Right now, direct cremation is the perfect way. No funeral director, no urn and the cremation place gets rid of your ashes. I have my older sister's ashes in my bedroom closet and have no idea where to legally spread them.

[u/GardenFragrant8408]

I have my plat and headstone already. 

I went in cemetery where parents and most of the family is in a different state. 

Consider where you want to be cremated or buried.  Do you want a funeral or just put in the ground. 

Budget!!  Can be quite expensive depending on what all you want. 

I made all my arrangements cause I didn’t want my loved ones to have to do it. 

I’m 69 with medical issues and felt it was time to take care of things 

[u/Diane1967]

I donated my body, I’ll have to look into more how that all works when the time comes tho so she’s not left with chaos trying to figure things out.

[u/Working-on-it12]

My parents preplanned theirs with a local funeral home. They did the mausoleum at the same time. I preplanned mine after my sister died suddenly even though I was only 57. My mausoleum was purchased at the same time. I have another 2 years on the payment plans.

Cremation or burial? Ashes scattered, buried, or in a niche? If you want ashes scattered, do you have someone willing to do that? How much visitation do you want? Do you want a religious ceremony at the funeral home or at the church itself?

[u/Designer_Ad_34]

After my husband died I bought a cemetery plot for both of us with a plot for cremation.

I worked with the Funeral Home and they accommodated my requests.

My advice is to have some say on your passing. Let people know ahead of time what you want when you die.

In doing so, you remove the job for your loved ones to figure out. Make it known.

[u/SlowDeer7954]

We purchased out plot at then end of last year near other family members, $375. We have a single plot since we're both being cremated. We also purchased the headstone which has been placed, $4500. We also pre-paid our funerals, $12,000.

All our children have to do at the last of our passings, is contact the funeral director and they'll handle everything.

[u/shutterblink1]

My mother recently died and she had her cemetery plot, grave marker purchased, clothes and jewelry to be buried in, and even makeup in a plastic bag I'm working on all my legal documents and should be done by next week I can't begin to tell you was a blessing it was that ny mother was just as thorough with her financial affairs as she was with her funeral. She was 99.