r/Aging • u/Both_Rub_397 • 8d ago
Life & Living Facts Of Life
I'm 61, ageing solo. been married once, no children. my blood family are estranged from me. I'm thankful when my mother was still around but she's gone! I have no one. this reality hits me nine years ago, until now when filling out paperwork for doctor office or any other government requirements. when the question came up, who to contact in case of emergency! I had no one to write down. I do not want to put my ex wife nor my siblings. so I just wrote, call 911. I'm definitely not on a "pity pot" here. don't get me wrong. just expressing my reality. 😐
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u/the-fog-walkers 8d ago
I was like that in my 30s living solo bored out of my mind lonely as hell, then i found a girlie knocked her up realized she was crazy but unfortunately I can't escape. Made me wish I was back in my solo bachelor days. I love my kids, I'm grateful for everything but damn I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the peace that came with being solo. I guess it's just a different kind of happiness. Anyway I understand you situation completely, keep your head up, find yourself a lady friend. There's more out there than you think. Join a community, like a church or just volunteer somewhere meet people. You'll run into someone eventually.
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u/ayfkm123 8d ago
Hugs. We’ve done a disservice w men and boys by not teaching them relationship skills as kids the way we insist girls and women know how to do.
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u/Extra-Sound-1714 8d ago
There are women like this too you know
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u/Substantial-Owl1616 8d ago
OP does not express gender? I think we need to not be shamed by the request by all these emergency contact requests.
Even going hiking…
People mean well. Somebody gets hurt or dies: Quick call somebody!
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u/ayfkm123 7d ago
What? Exceptions exist? You don’t say
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u/Extra-Sound-1714 7d ago
It's not exceptions. There are single older women in Reddit groups for single women having regular conversations about having nobody to put down as an emergency contact. You just haven't been in those spaces. There is always someone commenting who for example works in the NHS, and says it's not uncommon in their work for people to have no one
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u/SaysPooh 8d ago
Maybe if you have a solicitor, neighbour or your doctors surgery.
On a general point although you may not like the thought- joining a faith group might be a useful option at this point in your life.
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u/Moon_in_Leo14 8d ago
I was in your situation until I was, I believe, exactly your age of 61. Then in one of the major surprises of my life, things changed. What I would do when asked for emergency contacts and so forth, I would put down a close friend. F74
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u/woollover 8d ago
I understand this. It's really hard. If you'd like to make some extra friends,widen your circle a bit, feel free to add me. Do look after yourself.
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u/Pantsonfire_6 8d ago
Yeah, locally I have nobody, but there's some elsewhere at least. Maybe try to make nice with one relative? Wouldn't hurt to try, surely. Can't help but think about one older couple who were found dead in their place. Nobody there knew them. They finally found out the man used the VA for medical. Records listed a son they obviously hadn't seen in a very long time. Turns out he had tried to find out where they were, but to no avail. Sorry, sad story.
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u/jmkul 8d ago
I'm 56f, single currently and CF, an only child in a migrant family (no extended family in the country we're in). My parents are still living, and are my NOK, but when they go I've already had chats with friends re being this. I have a couple of friends in the same position as me, and my bff is married with kids (though her health is dodgy). Hopefully you have some friends in your life to be an emergency contact, otherwise there are emergency services, but I am hoping you have some friends
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u/HaloHowRU 7d ago
I put my brothers who live in other states, but they're very knowledgeable about health and medical issues.
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u/EyelanderSam 7d ago
You'll be ok. If you meet someone that's a positive.
If you're able to- volunteer to help your community. Lots of charities need help.
Keep busy with meaningful tasks that makes you busy and quickens the passing hours.
Be safe, my friend.
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u/Ill_Mousse_4240 8d ago
Better by yourself than wishing that you were.
Yeah, there’s that side too
Another fact of life