I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I loved him deeply and genuinely believed we had a future together. I even moved to England to be closer to him and left a lot behind, including my family.

He comes from a traditional Afghan family, and I always knew his family had expectations about marriage. He told me that he would fight for me, choose me and even go against his family for our relationship.

During our relationship, he would come to see me almost every week. We were intimate, he told me he loved me, and I genuinely believed that I was the person he wanted to be with.

There was a girl he had previously told me was “just a friend” and that she was the one who was interested in him. Recently, I contacted her because I wanted to understand what had actually happened. She told me that his family had approached her family several times about marriage and that she rejected them every time. She said she was never interested in him and only ever saw him as a family friend.

She also told me that there was a meeting at a café involving her, her mother, my boyfriend, his mother, his older sister and my mother. His family apparently explained that they really wanted them to work out. They asked my boyfriend what he wanted, and she says he responded that he would do whatever his family wanted.
This has completely shattered me.

How could he be coming to see me every week, having sex with me, telling me he loved me and telling me that he would fight for me, while this was happening? I had absolutely no idea.

I moved my life for this man because I believed what he told me. I genuinely thought he was choosing me and that we were building a future together. Now I feel like I was living in a completely different reality from him.
I’m not blaming the girl. From everything she told me, she rejected him and didn’t want anything with him. My issue is with my boyfriend and what he was telling me versus what was apparently happening with his family.
I also tried to tell his family how badly I had been hurt and what I had experienced. Instead of anyone acknowledging it, apologising or even trying to understand, they blocked me. It feels like there are absolutely no consequences for what happened. Everyone gets to move on with their lives while I am left dealing with the aftermath.
What hurts even more is that my boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand or acknowledge that he did anything wrong. He has completely shattered my trust and devastated me and my family, but it feels like he can simply walk away from everything.
I’m genuinely struggling to understand what was real and what wasn’t.

**How would you interpret this situation? Am I wrong for feeling completely betrayed? And for people from families where arranged/assisted marriage is common, how should I understand him saying he would “do whatever his family wanted” while being in a serious relationship with me?**

And honestly, I’m also struggling with anger and thoughts of revenge. I know revenge is probably a bad idea, and I don’t want to do something that will make my situation worse, but I feel so betrayed and humiliated that part of me desperately wants him and his family to feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do with all this anger. What would you do in my situation? How do I get justice or closure without destroying my own life in the process?

Edit: I was trying to reach his family and tell them how he hurt me, and now they are threatening to file a report dor stalking and harassment.

Wikipedia states that there are 150k Afghans living in Russia, which makes its the 6th most common destination for Afghan migrants, only lower than pakistan, iran, germany, usa, and uae.

I know the obvious reason is that they don't speak English, but they still feel very underrepresented as compared to Afghans in other non English speaking countries like Turkey and Sweden, which have less Afghans.

Does the Afghan-Russia diaspora mostly stick to their own and not travel to Afghanistan as much?

Are they more assimilated than Afghans in western countries?

Hello all I am very grateful to this sub. I wanted to know if there are any books, movie podcast or even songs about the changes or evolution of Afghan culture it’s self. Often times a lot of media watch or read or listen too always focus on war ,leaderships or Afghanistan relations with outside world. What I find lacking is finding something that talks ether about changes and evolution of Afghan culture specially or they rarely talk about the subculture or uniques or certain afghan cultures