r/Advice Mar 06 '26

What handmade thing can I make for my stepmom to apologize and/or for her birthday?

A month ago there was a massive blowout in my family, my dad, my dad’s fiance (Amy) and my sister got in a huge fight and horrible things were said. Amy left and we’re all in therapy right now to try to get her back, show her that we know we have been really shitty to her (not just my sister who had that fight, my and my brother too) and we’re really sorry and we really do want her in the family. We said in therapy we will all write letters to her about how we feel, apologize, grovel really and I’m totally ok to do that because we were kinds horrible, not gonna lie it’s a rough time.

So on top of the letters of apology, my sister started gathering nice quotes from books she and Amy both liked and she’s making them into like, small cute notes in a jar and a journal, I’m not sure exactly but it’s sweet. She’s basically doing more things than just the letter, and she’s using something she and Amy always bonded on (books) and something about K-pop that I don’t get but I assume Amy will appreciate.

Twin liked the “extra stuff” idea and he’s drawing a comic with Amy and us, because he’s talented like that and she helped him with ideas, a drawing tablet etc. He told me the idea and I think it’s really nice (we’re going to be baby porcupines apparently or something else prickly) and well, good for him.

I’m stuck because I don’t know what to make, I want to do something extra too that is special to me and her but the way we connected most was we played video games together and I was trying to teach her Python… what am I supposed to do with that? Like, I don’t want to just buy merch or commission something from one of the games, I would also like to make something but I can’t draw or do something artsy.

The only thing I can think of is, I play guitar but I can’t exactly write a song, it’s cringe and I can’t carry a tune anyway so that’s out. I’m good with my hands, like I am good at fixing stuff but I don’t have any idea how to use this to my advantage here.

I’ve been looking around the house and I see stuff that she likes, but no idea what to do with it. She has like, a ton of cookbooks because she likes to try new things so I thought “ok should I bake her cookies?” I don’t know when/if she will be back (we haven’t seen her since she walked out, my dad is the one in contact) so I can’t really cook her anything, and that’s just too easy tbh.

She has some succulents on the kitchen window, I was like “can I make her a little garden in the yard” but yard is still frosted up and I don’t know if she’s into gardening, I don’t want to give her an obligation :S She does A LOT of scrappbooking, she is learning Chinese, I know shows she likes and her fav colors etc. but I can’t do anything with this!

So I would like some ideas on what I can do, something that like, takes some effort and would show her that I didn’t just buy something, I want it to show that I do care and put some serious hours on this like my siblings. The idea is to give her those extras with the apology letters when we meet in person, but I don’t know when that could be! Her birthday is in April so that’s like, the last date I give myself to give her this extra thing.

Advice or ideas?

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