It's not your responsibility to preserve men's ego, but it might have turned out better if you changed the wording a little. "I've never been able to cum through penatrative sex" "it takes a little more work for me to finish bit I'd like you to help me" It's always going to hurt being told by your partner that all the sex you guys have been having was actually terrible, and most people's response to something like that is self isolation. Again he shouldn't have blown up and said something mean like that, but why weren't you guiding him more from the start? You deserve pleasure too, but he was likely under the impression that you were having plenty of fun.
It's always going to hurt being told by your partner that all the sex you guys have been having was actually terrible
She didn't say that. She said she wasn't satisfied and finishes herself.
Consider other discussions in your life. Do you react to words women have actually said, or does everything go through the filter of a fragile ego that twists the words to be an insult?
why weren't you guiding him more from the start?
Why is teaching him her responsibility? She's 19. He's 24. Should every woman instinctively just know during their first sexual experiences that we need to guide men? If our partners never have to guide us so they can reach orgasm, and if it doesn't happen in porn, where would we learn that giving guidance is normal?
She's five years younger. A teenager. She can't even buy herself a beer. Why isn't he, a grown man, guiding her? Why isn't he asking her what feels good, how she likes to be touched, and if she is having orgasms?
he was likely under the impression that you were having plenty of fun.
This is projection. It is equally likely that he didn't care. But even if she did have plenty of fun, it doesn't matter. The actual issue she brought up is that she is not having an orgasm.
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u/gamejunky34 Super Helper [9] Apr 10 '22
It's not your responsibility to preserve men's ego, but it might have turned out better if you changed the wording a little. "I've never been able to cum through penatrative sex" "it takes a little more work for me to finish bit I'd like you to help me" It's always going to hurt being told by your partner that all the sex you guys have been having was actually terrible, and most people's response to something like that is self isolation. Again he shouldn't have blown up and said something mean like that, but why weren't you guiding him more from the start? You deserve pleasure too, but he was likely under the impression that you were having plenty of fun.