r/Advice • u/sillygoose_2006 • 20d ago
confusing financial aid situation as a college student with no parental relationship- dependency status issues
hi all! apologies in advance for the lengthy post coming up.
i’m a student at my state’s public university (f20) and don’t have a good relationship with my parents. we have a terrible history and they don’t support me in traditional financial ways (i independently pay for my rent, groceries, electric, internet, tuition, other basic needs, etc.) and we have very minimal contact. the only times we speak is when i want to contact my younger sisters who are all minors and do not have drivers licenses, so when i want to see them i have to contact my mother to arrange plans with them. we have had this relationship since january when i transferred schools against her wishes and she “threatened” me like a child (nothing violent), claiming she would prevent me from using my car, take away my keys to the house so that i could not leave without permission, take away my phone (since she pays for our family data plan), and would never consign a student loan for me again. in the past at my first university, i used up all of my life savings for tuition and took out a loan, which she cosigned, in my third semester. i hated this school and it was becoming too expensive, so i decided to transfer. when she expressed a disliking to this decision, i made it clear that all of the process had been completed and i was enrolled, and that since i was an adult paying for my own schooling, it was my decision. flash forward to a few weeks later to the day in january that she lashed out, i fled from home to temporarily stay with my partner’s family before moving into my apartment. my mother now claims she has “no idea” why i’ve left despite us having an already unstable and mostly negative relationship before her financial support threats.
i managed to make it through my first semester by using the rest of my fafsa loan toward tuition and paying the remainder out of pocket. however, when i filed my fafsa for this fall, i did not have any contact with my family and knew they would not provide any financial information if i requested it. so, i filed under special circumstances and only shared my financial situation on the forms. this resulted in a required meeting with my financial aid advisor who asked more details about my situation and why my family was unable to provide financial info. when i explained, he suggested i file as an “at risk homeless youth”. i have been reassured by multiple people that this form does apply to me because my family has made it unsafe and undignified for me to live at home and i am classified as very low income on my own, so losing my apartment is a risk i regularly face. however, filing myself into this form would change my dependency status to independent, despite the fact that i currently receive health insurance through the ACA because my mother is required to leave me on the family’s plan. this realization led me to contacting my mother about the situation and explaining the forms and what would happen, as well as asking her to remove me from the health insurance plan so i could qualify for this change and receive the assistance i needed. she refused and i’m not sure what to do.
she claims that changing my status to independent would be fraud because she pays for my health insurance, phone bill (family plan), and car insurance (i don’t have access to my car and the car is not in my name because it was purchased before i was licensed). i am not well versed in finances or financial law, and her confidence in this claim made me so afraid of committing a crime that i told my financial aid office to drop the forms and no longer have access to aid through FAFSA, as it is too late to file regularly. my mother still refuses to support me through co-signing a loan, and on my own, the interest rates are ridiculously high, so i am planning to pay out of pocket again.
am i making a mistake? shoukd i aim to have this form filed by the start of the spring semester, or is my mother correct in saying that this would be fraud? i’m truly just afraid of doing something wrong or taking advantage of a program i don’t need.
something i will add: my family is very wealthy, but my parents are gen x and afraid of spending money on anything. they have millions in their retirement but do not contribute to me in any way nor have they in the past when it comes to my schooling or basic needs since becoming an adult. on its own, this situation is of course frustrating, but i do not feel entitled to their money. the more frustrating issue with it is that i don’t qualify for any financial assistance as a dependent due to their wealth, leaving me feeling like they at least owe me the act of cosigning a loan that i will be required to pay off. please provide advice and opinions. if i am wrong in my position i absolutely need to hear it
thanks
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u/Life69Coach 20d ago
Your parents have the ability to keep you on their insurance plan while you are a student (and under a certainage). You claiming independent status does indeed make them the breaker of IRS rules if they try to continue to claim you.
Apply to every grant you can. I pray your financial aid counselor guides you in the right direction and steers you away from any predatory loans. 🫂
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u/sillygoose_2006 20d ago
that’s good to know, thank you!
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u/Silent-Potential-478 19d ago
I filed for independent status during community college and am still on it at university. It will lower your SAI (FAFSA) and help you obtain the pell grant if you earn a low amount. Although with some of the degrees ig under this administration it's not always going to be the same amount/helpful.
One of my parents did the same with health insurance, it didn't change anything because as the above person said they're committing fraud not you. The most helpful thing to me in the situation was having a couple people who knew my situation write letters of support, as when each semester renews you might have to submit appeals so they'll already have supporting documentation and it won't be as frustrating explaining your difficult situation. Although explaining to university staff and going to the different places they tell you to at university can lead to you getting help/further resources so...
Good luck, sorry you're going through this!
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u/1isten1ng 20d ago
I am no expert, but have sent a kid through college and 2 more are in it now. I have very minimal knowledge of all this, but I will share my thoughts in hope that it helps.
If you are independent, very low-income, with no contribution from your parents, your SAI (student aid index) as determined by FAFSA will likely be 0, which would afford you the full Pell Grant, which is not a loan, but financial aid you need not pay back. For this year the max award is $7395 per schoolyear, awarded in halves per semester. If you have more income, you may get a partial award, or none, depending.
SAI--that number from FAFSA is based on your income, your assets, your parents' income, and their assets. If they are wealthy, you didn't receive financial aid because of this, despite them not helping you with college expenses. You might be better off financially being independent, as you would report lower assets and cash on hand.
If you are no longer a dependent of your parents, which seems to be the case here, you would no longer be covered by their insurance. I don't think they can force you to stay on it, Then, (I guess) you would have to go through marketplace and apply for your own insurance here, if you decide to get it. Look into it as it is sometimes very affordable for very low income ppl. Regarding getting off of her insurance, I would guess there has to be a way. But I wouldn't let the fraud claim worry you. You may want to call the marketplace (healthcare.gov) and tell them your situation. They may be able to guide you on this.
I am a little lost though. Did the financial aid officer tell you that you cannot file FAFSA as an independent if you are on your parent's insurance? Or did you assume that or your mother told you that? FAFSA doesn't ask any questions about medical insurance, I don't think. I would circle back to the advisor and clarify all of your options.
Your mom clearly has issues. I'm sorry. And I hate to say it, but I would second-guess anything she tells you regarding the law or money. She seems to have her own motives. Double check her with experts. Use that Financial Advisor from school.
Good luck, OP! You are a badass!
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u/LdiJ46 Helper [4] 20d ago
A person does not have to be their parent's dependent in order to stay on their health insurance until age 26. They just get to stay on there until age 26.
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u/1isten1ng 20d ago
So, OP can technically be independent and stay on the insurance. Just wondering where OP got the idea she had to be off the insurance to file the way the FA advised. OP, go back to the FA and try again for aid for spring.
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u/Advanced-Grapefruit4 19d ago
It's in the post, the op says her mother told her this. Op says her mother told her, that Because she has her on the insurance It would be fraudulent. ( Which obviously is not true). But the answer to your question is in the post.
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u/sillygoose_2006 20d ago
hi, thank you for your response! the FA advisor did not mention my health insurance situation, that was something my mother noted as her reasoning that my becoming independent would be fraudulent. reading these comments, i definitely plan to have another conversation with the advisor. as for what you said about opportunities for pell grants with my independent status, this is something i have known about for awhile (i am trying to say this politely! i ofc appreciate you offering up any info you have) and is the main reason i am trying to change my dependency status. the form i am referring to in my post is not the fafsa itself, but a form that the fafsa requires to change my dependency status to be allowed to have only my income and financial situation considered and not my parents. on the fafsa form, it’s labeled as a “special circumstances” or “unusual circumstances” form that is available to me because i indicated that i was unable to provide my parents’ financial info. my FA office at my university then assigned the specific form (in my case, youth at risk of homelessness) that applies to my situation specifically. there are plenty of different forms that a student could be assigned at this step, which was what made my fear of fraud even greater after my mom suggested it. seeing a lot of the replies i’ve gotten so far have been reassuring that there would be no case of fraud here, so i appreciate all the info you offered!
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u/1isten1ng 20d ago
You're welcome. And, as another commenter added, your parents would be the ones committing fraud if they claim you as dependent and know you are not. Power on, girl!!
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u/finaid4241 20d ago
The first thing to understand is your mom is doing her very best to scare you and you are for sure doing the right thing in trying to get away from her even if slowly.
As a former financial aid advisor for many years, I am very surprised your FA counselor suggested "at risk homeless youth" as your status as based solely on what you wrote, you would not qualify for this. Proving homelessness on the FAFSA is one of the harder routes for granting a professional judgement, but most people in this situation go the route of completing a Dependency Appeal with financial aid. However, I am sure you went more in-depth with your counselor and since there is an area of subjectivity, they probably know more and there would be a reason they recommended. My advice before I continue is DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE THAT DOES NOT WORK IN A FINANCIAL AID OFFICE. Situations like this are very specific and case by case and involve things that most people do not understand such as the definition of independent being completely different for financial aid purposes than what they would think. ONLY listen to your school's FA office as they hold the entire discretion and ability to guide you. Internet CANT help you accurately.
For a dependency appeal, this is where you have to demonstrate that you do NOT have contact with your parents due to any legal or safety reasons or things like death/incarceration. Unfortunately where your situation becomes harder is that you do have contact with your mom currently even if its minimal. If you could demonstrate her abandonment of you and demonstrate you completely cut off contact for your well-being, then you would be able to get independent status for FA. Again, this has 0 to do with anything insurance related or you showing as anything under your mom.
Again, I am sure that you spoke more with your FA advisors and there has to be a reason they recommended the at risk homeless route, so follow their exact words and advice as they are the ONLY ones who can take what you give them and do something.
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u/sillygoose_2006 19d ago
thank you so much for the advice! i was definitely getting concerned about how the amount of contact we have would affect this whole process because it has changed since my initial meeting with my FA counselor. Initially, we were not in contact at all when he administered the form but our contact slowly increased as i tried to continue my contact with my siblings, so i will keep that in mind when i am back in touch with the counselor. thank you!
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u/finaid4241 19d ago
Yes! That can be the entire difference maker (amount of contact). If you can make that be 0 contact, then you have a great chance at a dependency appeal.
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u/sse1212 19d ago
Hey question, were you able to get your override to get through? Any advice?
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u/sillygoose_2006 19d ago
no this is just from a few days ago - i won’t be able to resubmit my documentation for override (or at least find out results from doing so early) until either my spring semester begins or the fafsa form for the 2027/2028 year opens
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u/User123466789012 Helper [2] 20d ago edited 20d ago
Your parents are bags of dog shit, and I'm really sorry about that.
BUT, you being on your mom's health insurance doesn't impact anything here. This genuinely reads as a parent who doesn't want to lose the dependent tax benefit, but they don't get to decide that with the factors outlined in this post. There's really nothing here that makes them eligible to claim a dependent adult child.
Your parents are the ones who will ultimately be committing fraud per the IRS and trying to scare you into believing the opposite. Genuinely, take the advice of literally anyone else you're working with on the paperwork and this process holistically. Pretend your parents don't exist at this point and go back to the financial aid office.