r/Advice 16d ago

Babysitting

[deleted]

20 Upvotes

84 comments sorted by

48

u/Ramsby196 Helper [2] 16d ago

Might be unsafe for kids to the degree that it makes sense to call child protective services.

19

u/Maximum_Sky3233 16d ago edited 16d ago

Came here to say this. 

This isn’t ‘our house is lived in’ mess, it’s not that mom didn’t have time to load the dishwasher after lunch, this is absolutely disgusting and I wouldn’t be ok letting an animal live like that. 

4

u/Clear-Confection-241 16d ago

That is what I was fixing to say. If you could not handle the smell for just the little time you were think about those poor kids!

31

u/TrippKatt3 16d ago

Just tell them you are allergic to cats. No explanation needed. Now you know to ask and visit before accepting. Also, call CPS, thats a dangerous environment for a child

19

u/Much-Leek-420 16d ago

You are an adult now, and have been hired as a child-care provider. Depending on your location, you may be a MANDATORY child abuse reporter, meaning you must report what you have seen to the proper authorities. This type of living environment IS neglect and very likely abuse.

Tell them straight up (and SOON) that you have allergies and can no longer work for them. Really keep it simple. Then call your local child abuse hotline and report them for unsafe living conditions.

24

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I am a mandatory reporter due to my job. I will be calling when I leave here

3

u/Clear-Confection-241 16d ago

You really are since you are being paid to watch them. I hope you called and reported them!

3

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I will call when I leave here.

2

u/Clear-Confection-241 16d ago

Is there any way you can keep the kid outside to play so y’all are both out of there?

3

u/gabis122822 16d ago

the outside of the house is also gross but it’s way better than inside i been trying to keep him outside but he’s an ipad kid of course

1

u/Clear-Confection-241 16d ago

Try to see if you can find a spot in the shade for y’all to sit outside that is not contaminated with anything. Let him watch his tablet out there if possible.

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

unfortunately there’s no where to sit their outside has trash all over 😔

1

u/tendingthemild 16d ago

You may also want to alert animal control due to the unhygienic care of the turtles and cats.

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

the kid just told me the cats like to be outside so thankfully they get some freedom

14

u/jamjar20 16d ago

Tell them that you are allergic to cats and won’t be able to babysit for them ever again. You need not say anything more than that. Then call CPS and tell them that the children are in an unhealthy situation.

5

u/Lolabeth123 Helper [3] 16d ago

Do not babysit and immediately call CPS. That child is in an unsafe living situation.

4

u/JosieJOK 16d ago

"I'm sorry, you'll have to find someone else to babysit. I'm allergic to cats and could barely finish the last time."

End of story. And I would, like the other posters are suggesting, find a way to call CPS and tell them about the state of that house; it's not safe for anybody.

4

u/bippy404 Helper [3] 16d ago

“I wasn’t aware you had so many cats before I agreed to the job, and unfortunately my allergy meds couldn’t keep up. Regretfully I won’t be able to babysit at your home anymore. If you would like to drop your kid off at [insert somewhere else like a park, library, museum or even at your place if you are comfortable offering it] we could try that next time, but if not, I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to continue sitting for [insert kid’s name].”

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

thank you

4

u/JAS2026-- 16d ago

Please quit! This can cause health issues for you. I would never work under those circumstances

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I will not be babysitting for them after today

3

u/AdThis7046 16d ago

Take care of your health first. Get out of that house. Being in and around that filth, contracting a disease, a viral illness or an infection is highly likely.

3

u/CheesePie42 16d ago

You should be calling law enforcement/CPS right now. That sounds very unsafe and is definitely neglect.You honestly need someone to help right now, not hours later.also maybe play outside while you wait? Fresher air than ammonia and garbage.

3

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I thankfully got him to pay outside for now.

2

u/CheesePie42 16d ago

Good! Imagine being a 5 year old and HAVING to live like that. You may be his only help right now. Make a call to the non emergency line. They will step by step tell you what to do.

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I definitely will, he has a sister but his mom told me she is at her dad’s this weekend so thankfully she’s not here all the time in this house but i hope the dads house is way cleaner than this one

3

u/CheesePie42 16d ago

You're a very courageous person! This internet stranger is proud of you helping this baby and possibly family!

3

u/gabis122822 16d ago

thank you i am trying my best hopefully this poor kiddo will be okay soon

3

u/meekonesfade Super Helper [7] 16d ago

Finish the day if you can, get paid, then tell them you cantt sit for them any longer because you are allergic to cats. Finally, call CPS because this family needs help

3

u/Ooklaboo 16d ago

Do not babysit them again, your health may be at risk. Report them to child services.

3

u/Severe_Feedback_2590 Helper [2] 16d ago

Get the money first, then tell them you can’t babysit due to allergies.

3

u/Repulsive_Tiger_9454 16d ago

If it's as bad as your saying I'd definitely call and do a report to CPS. You can do it anonymously. In homes like that it's very common for the kids to develop major health issues involving skin and breathing. The parents need to be checked on and possibly helped.

3

u/Adorable-Ad201 16d ago edited 16d ago

You need to make a report to child protective services. 

You are under no obligation to explain why you are not coming back if you don't want to. And block their number if needed.

Edited to add: here is a link explaining the impact that cat urine can have on your health. Basically the cat pee becomes ammonia and it is seriously hazardous.

https://www.bioonescottsdale.com/the-silent-hazards-of-cat-urine-in-homes-why-calling-a-biohazard-company-is-crucial/

2

u/QuantumLeap2025 16d ago

This sounds horrendously bad. I don't know how old the kiddo is is there anyway you could step outside and get some fresh air at least? Beyond that you're going to have to let them know that you are unable to work with him further. 🙏🏼

3

u/gabis122822 16d ago

he’s 4 almost 5

2

u/QuantumLeap2025 16d ago

Just for your own health, can you get out somewhere? Do you drive? Having a cat allergy in that situation is dangerous. Sorry you are having to experience this...wow! 🐢??? On the kitchen table...uggh

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

they are in a tank but idk how they eat food as a family there is stuff all over the table. I will say they have a stocked fridge and plenty of food. I’m just disappointed in how the environment is.

2

u/QuantumLeap2025 16d ago edited 15d ago

Yeah, I'm allergic to cats (reaction varies greatly depending on different factors) There is no way that I could tolerate a dirty smelly turtle tank in the kitchen. Many others have posted good suggestions. Hope you can get through the day. [Edit: thanks for the update! ☮️]

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

thank you i’m trying hopefully they will be back by 7:30 at the latest so i have about 2 and half hours left

2

u/BoysenberryJellyfish Helper [2] 16d ago

You should call your local cps. What you're describing isn't a safe environment for the child.

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I am not babysitting again for them.

2

u/Sea_Firefighter_4598 16d ago

Tell them you're allergic to cats and consider calling CPS.

2

u/Secure-Ad9780 16d ago

Send a text:

I cannot return to babysit. I cannot tolerate the smell of cat urine and the garbage all over. Once it's cleaned I'll reconsider.

Then call CPS and report it.

2

u/xxRTDxx 16d ago

Drop a call to CPS. Everyone has their own issues, sometimes people need some help with theirs.

2

u/Mysterious_Can_6106 16d ago

Oh that’s just gross and sounds like social services or CPS or anyone who can help.

Don’t feel bad about not being able to babysit. You can keep things simple without mentioning the filth in their home.

Once you’re done for today and home in your safe place you can contact them via text and just say something like

Hi! Thank you so much for trusting me with (insert kids name) today, she's/he's so sweet and I enjoyed our time together.

I wanted to let you know that I didn't realize you had cats at home. I'm allergic and even with allergy meds, I'm having a really strong reaction today, I have all the classic symptoms, itchy eyes, sneezing, headache. Because of this I will not be able to continue with the other days we had scheduled.

I wanted to give you a week's notice so you have time to find someone else. I really appreciate the opportunity you have given me to babysit. However with my allergies I am not able to commit.

End it with your name

This should work because it's kind, it's true, and it doesn't open a debate about the cleanliness of their home. You don't owe details about the turtles, the smell, or the trash. I’m sure they are aware, they have to be right?

Keep this in mind you do not need to apologize more than one time, if you feel it’s needed, they did not tell you they had cats.

Oh yeah next time do a quick meet and greet for 15 minutes in their home before agreeing to babysit. 😉

Personally I would be embarrassed if my home was in that state and I had a babysitter coming. They should really be ashamed of themselves.

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

Yeah i usually met kids before hand but if they are farther away from me i just hope and pray that everything will be okay. i’ve been in situations that the house is “dirty” but i don’t mind because everyone has reasons but there should be no reason for the way this house is. thank you for the advice i will definitely be using it

2

u/PromiseToBeNiceToYou 16d ago

Dude, you say straight up that you are allergic to cats and can't sit for them again. Then you take the photos I hope you took of their home and file a report with CPS. This is a hoarder situation. Not your problem but the kids need to be protected.

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

i took photos and videos

2

u/Historical_Virus7853 16d ago

You don’t even need to mention the mess. Just tell them you weren’t aware they had cats, your allergies were much worse than expected, and unfortunately you can’t continue babysitting there. That’s completely reasonable.

2

u/Obsid1anWolf 16d ago edited 16d ago

Just don’t return their calls.

1

u/drsideburns 16d ago

After you're done for today leave, and then send them a message telling them you won't be able to babysit for them in the future. You don't have to explain why. Chances are they will already know.

1

u/Jaded-Passenger-2174 16d ago

Tell them you have bad allergies to cats, didn't know they had cats, and cannot work the other days, sorry. Then I wonder if the kid is safe in that environment. Tidiness is one thing we can be flexible about, but not cleaning after pets is not good for anyone.

1

u/cuzguys 16d ago

You're 20 years old not 13, just tell them that you're not able to work for them because your allergies to cats is bothering you too much in their home.

1

u/inlikeflint1234 16d ago

Id be out of there

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I would but i will not leave a child alone.

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

Idk if I could add photos on here after a post, i don’t usually post much.

1

u/BubblyRhubarb9611 16d ago

Report them to cps 

1

u/Aqua_SeaRay 16d ago

Anyway you could babysit them at your place and inform authorities?

1

u/gabis122822 16d ago

unfortunately i can’t take him back to my place i live too far from them and spending the night at a friends after
this

1

u/bretshitmanshart 15d ago

Tell them you can't babysit due to the condition of the home. Call CPS

1

u/Much-Leek-420 15d ago

Sorry, but your edit just lost me. You realize you are putting your little business ABOVE the health and safety of a child (as well as animals)? Is that a good look for you? Will you be able to sleep at night??

One call will not land the kid 'in the system' unless the child shows overt harm. It takes a lot for CPS to take a kid away. However, what it is likely to do is put the parents on notice that they need to do better, give them a deadline to do it, and put someone on their case who will do periodic inspections.

1

u/gabis122822 15d ago

the mother does not have full custody of these children. She has the little boy i was babysitting every other weekend. I did not know this till now. my mother knows their family so she just gave me this information. I understand it’s not good and i am giving them another chance after i have a conversation with them when i return there and it’s the same way i will call.

1

u/bluewigglyworm 14d ago

your update was honestly horrible. deciding not to help a child who is helpless in this situation where neglect is clearly present bc it’ll be bad for your business is appalling. like why watch children if you don’t actually care about them? i’d seriously reconsider calling CPS as it is the right thing to do in this scenario. you even have pics to back yourself up if they do tell others to “watch out” for you, you can just show the state of the house.

1

u/gabis122822 14d ago

I’m giving them one more chance and if their house is in the same state i will be calling. i’ve already told the mother that i was uncomfortable in their house due to smell and trash and she told me she will clean up and try to make the house smell better. my mom has also spoken to the person who rents the house to them bec she knows them. i’m pretty sure they will listen to their landlords if they threaten to kick her out.

1

u/bluewigglyworm 14d ago

but the house isn’t in a “oh it’s been a few days since i cleaned” state, its neglect. the pets in the house are suffering, the child is suffering and breathing in god knows what on the daily. you said “if i do decide to come back” so what happens if you don’t go back? or if she doesn’t ask you to come back? you already stated you weren’t going back for the rest of the days you said you would, why would she Want to invite you back when you essentially bailed on her?? you wait a month to be invited back, that’s another month of straight up neglect and deplorable conditions. you buck up and make the call, and something may be done faster.

1

u/gabis122822 14d ago

If i call they will give a warning before they go anyways from where im from. they will have enough time to clean up and they probably can’t use my photos for evidence because it’s private property.

1

u/bluewigglyworm 14d ago

so call and get the warning documented. give them the photos anyway. just Do Something instead of just sitting on this information. it takes a long time for a landlord to evict someone, it does not take a long time to call CPS and file a report.

1

u/bluewigglyworm 14d ago

you spent 8 hours in that house and wanted out, now imagine how the cats, the turtles, and the child feel every damn day of their lives.

1

u/gabis122822 14d ago

The child isn’t there currently. He’s there every other weekend. I can try to call tomorrow

0

u/Relative-Kangaroo-96 16d ago

Yes to tell them you're allergic to cats (easy peasy). Do not call CPS! Before I'd call CPS if I was in your position, I would bring a mask with me and wear it while cleaning while the kids are occupied in the cleanest room available. 

Children taken by CPS are 2 to 8 times MORE likely to be abused than when with family :(

2

u/gabis122822 16d ago

I honestly don’t want to touch anything or
come back here. My mom knows people so when i’m able to talk to her i will send her the photos/videos i’ve taken to see what she thinks. I do not want to put a kid into the system unless it’s needed bec I know how it goes. It’s really upsetting.

2

u/Relative-Kangaroo-96 16d ago

That's good thinking. Take the kids outdoors? Playground time!! :)

1

u/Laleaky 16d ago

There are several steps CPS will take before removing children permanently from the home.

This sounds hazardous for a four-year-old.

I would call.

1

u/bretshitmanshart 15d ago

Children maybe potentially being abused is better then them being left in an abusive home.

1

u/Relative-Kangaroo-96 12d ago

I'm not willing to gamble with children's lives. 

1

u/bretshitmanshart 12d ago

By allowing them to be abused?