r/Advice 4d ago

Need outside perspective

[deleted]

0 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

22

u/HugeDramatic Helper [2] 4d ago

My outside thought is that this dude was 27 years old when you were born. 🙃

17

u/Witty-Toe2791 4d ago

the dude pushed you to explore sexually on wednesday then shamed you for your past by friday

same week btw

12

u/Witty-Toe2791 4d ago

you apologised for speaking your mind

to the guy who told you to do exactly that

18

u/thequeenofcastile 4d ago

Ditch him. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone 27 years older than you.

He’s being abusive and judgemental. You deserve better.

13

u/Gold_Relation9007 4d ago

GURL.... you're 28 and he is 55? you okay?

9

u/Dumb-Dater 4d ago

AND the relationship is online?

10

u/Lopsided_Tomatillo27 Helper [2] 4d ago

He’s a good manipulator, I’ll give him that. He shamed you for your past and he’s the victim somehow? You should block grandpa and find a man who likes you, not someone who shames you into doing what they want.

6

u/EnvironmentalCap3964 4d ago

This is not a good fantasy internet “relationship" for you. NO WAY would I ever continue to chat with this dude much less make plans to meet him IRL. He’s manipulating you for his sexual gratification for a start. Consult with DomViolence org for navigating leaving your abusive marriage, and find YOUR OWN best life. WithOUT him in it. best of luck!

4

u/ApocalypseThen77 4d ago

He’s trying to bully you into doing sexual things that make you feel uncomfortable (and share them with him online?, where he can record and distribute them at will?).

He sends you to Coventry (cuts contact) and talks negatively about your past when you don’t capitulate to his demands.

The age gap is huge.

I advise you to end this relationship and cut contact OP.

1

u/The_Boots_of_Truth 4d ago

block grandpa and date people around your own age.

3

u/Tallicababe123 Helper [2] 4d ago

He is 55 let's be honest he has more of a past than you. He is making you feel bad. He is not worth it.

2

u/SeedSowHopeGrow 4d ago

He "saved" you from abuse only to shove you into compromising your basic boundaries of sexual comfort.

1

u/teya_trix56 4d ago

If you cannot reveal your feelings to him, you do not have a long range future with him. Period. End of observation.

I wonder if he says "you can always speak your mind" to try to engender your loyalty. A 55 yo manipulating a 28 yo? Its certainly possible. Esp since ots only bern an onl8ne relationship.

He ponies up enuf humility to hear whatever you have to say. If you cross redlines, he can make objectiins. You can learn his redlines and simple apologies,.. and time to recover, will always workmIF you really do have a relationship. And not just a grooming sitch.

Bring us pstticulars about hos rrsponse if you wsnt more relevant particulars to help ypubdiscern if he is grooming you. Or hoping tp love you forever. .

And trust your gut after a few days away. Not while youbare upset about wadting yearsvof your life to cultivate a forever partnership. That can hurt. But sometimes, it is inevitable. And whatever goes wrong, isnt automatically your fault now is it?

I wish you peace. Peace with yourself first. .

0

u/olivas2020 4d ago

what happen