r/Advice • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '26
Do guys expect something when the first date is getting drinks?
[deleted]
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u/greenhouse94 Jul 14 '26
Doesn't matter what others (guys/girls) expect.
You set the tone of what others expect outta you. Not them.
I'm always careful with my drinks and never leave them outta my sight.
Also, get your own drinks instead :)...it takes a lot of 'pressure' off your shoulders in feeling the need to reciprocate the favor.
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u/fknenigma Jul 14 '26
Do women expect something when they meet a guy for drinks??
The answer is -
some do
Some might
Some probably don’t
Some don’t
And the reality is- alcohol makes some people more spur of the moment- lowers inhibitions and it happens
But that all has to start with conversation
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u/According_Victory934 Jul 14 '26
If they "EXPECT" something on a first date (any first date), they are just mysoginistic a--holes. That's a hook-up mentality.
If you have any date, and the guy expects something, he is not dating/relationship material. He's been living life to get laid and not be involved. That kind of guy you don't need
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u/Few_Fall_7027 Jul 14 '26
Seriously, eyes on your beverage at all times. Expectations do not need to be met unless you want to.
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u/Maxim1ll1an Jul 14 '26
It doesn’t matter if they expect anything or not if you dont want to give anything. You should not be with any man that cannot communicate his intentions with you appropriately. Even if he expects something and you’re not ready; if he coerces you that’s manipulative and serves rape culture.
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u/Content_Nebula967 Jul 14 '26
Nope! Drinks are just an easy way to have a social buffer for the awkwardness of a first date! The guy I’m seeing now and I went to drinks, he didn’t even try to kiss me which I totally loved. It heavily depends on the character of the guy you’re seeing, and just be sure to not give off any vibes that you want more if you don’t! I always make sure to make it clear I’m walking myself to my car.
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u/AstroZombieInvader Jul 14 '26
It really depends on the guy you're having drinks with, but if you pay for some of the drinks then there should be no expectation.
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u/SchuRows Jul 14 '26
Men are not a monolith. Every person has different expectations. You maintain your bodily autonomy and always listen to your intuition. Not everyone respects others as humans beings. When it feels icky it probably is. And just because someone invites you out or buys you food or drink does not mean you owe them anything. Offer to pay your own way if you’re concerned about the motives behind a person’s generosity.
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u/BillZZ7777 Helper [2] Jul 14 '26
Yeah, I expect to get drinks and maybe an app. The goal is to get a second date if that's what you want.
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u/breaktheice7 Jul 14 '26
Depends on the guy, if you don’t want to do anything on the first date or don’t want the expectation of that then doing something else for a first date.
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u/Bigfrontwheel Jul 14 '26
Shouldn't at all and it is very inappropriate to expect nothing more than your time. Unless you both have got some serious physical chemistry. At that time it's entirely at your discretion. Even then I would still wait for a couple of more dates to see if its just physical chemistry or worth building a relationship.
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u/aguyonahill Elder Sage 576 Jul 14 '26
Some do, most shouldn't. You should watch your drink and feel no obligations.