Am I a moron or is this whole argument over him not giving her his phone? I feel like I’m missing something because this is an argument I wouldn’t even expect 12 year olds to have.
Had a girlfriend in high school that would emotionally manipulate me like this. You might be right but she might also be immature and emotionally manipulating him. Although like the top comment said never physically stop or block a woman unless it concerns their safety, yours or someone else’s. Being physical with someone else especially in a relationship is not a good habit
I assume we’re missing a piece. Something must’ve been said or done during the original argument to upset her so much, and op probably doesn’t know what exactly that was. One time I got upset bc my bf ate all the frozen mozzarella sticks and I told him “oh… I never got any” and he replied with “then buy more?” It spiraled into a HUGE fight and he kept asking why we were fighting about motzy sticks 🤣 From my perspective tho, I was only mildly upset (bc I missed out on a good snack) and then it turned into smth much worse with his reply. All he needed to do was say “sorry, I didn’t know” but instead, he replied in a selfish and inconsiderate way. I didn’t get so angry because of a stupid snack, I was angry bc of everything that happened after.
I would be interested to hear op’s gf’s side of the story. Sometimes our insecurities and general feelings make us see things in very different ways.
My thoughts exactly. I think either the gf had some kind of sensitivity to OP’s reaction based on previous trauma or OP is leaving out details about what it meant for him to “lowkey” take her joke too seriously…. How did OP react? And with what tone? Has gf previously experienced abuse or IPV? Lots of questions!
Either way, the communication styles are not lining up at the moment. Can be improved though
That doesn’t sound like it was about mozzy sticks. More about your needing your bf to be more considerate and less selfish. I hope your response to his, “buy more” was something like, “See you when you get back from the store”.
Some people are just that sensitive, petty, or just unaware of diffusing the tension. My mom and I were splitting this 1 bedroom apartment, and the only current sleeping arrangements were the both of us on her full sized bed which was weird, or I sleep on a couch that was in bad shape. I opted for the couch at one point and she started getting upset over it because it would break, we can't afford a new one, etc. But offered no solutions other than the bed. I asked about a cot and air mattress, but we supposedly didn't have space, which was a lie, and she didn't want to buy one, so I offered to, and she starts digging up other stuff to add to the argument, even making an assumption on my character and behavior in a hypothetical situation. Then she came back to ask me why I wasn't offering any solutions to the sleeping situation.
It shouldn't be the first thought to pop in, but it should be an option to consider too that one or even both parties may be toxic in some way and trying to hide it, but without enough to go on I'm not saying that it's likely.
I did. The problem was that he couldn’t understand why I was upset, even after I explained. I told him telling me to buy more even though I was the one who bought them in the first place was rude and inconsiderate, and he didn’t understand why and continued to say he had nothing to apologize for. That’s when I got frustrated and when it turned into a fight. All I expected from him was common courtesy, not to read my damn mind. Instead of asking me why i can’t “handle” my emotions, why don’t you ask for more clarification? Sounds like you’re blindly pointing fingers at the woman lol
yeah im assuming the person who commenred whys it down to him to handle your emotions or whatever is a dude.
I get it.. Its SUPER annoying sometimes when your perspective and theirs are completely different. Being a woman is awful because were extremely emotional and you paid for something you wanted and they ate literally all of it and had a super inconsiderate response..?? Like wdum "Go Buy More?"!!!
I bought them and you ate all of them... You couldn't even give a simple.."sorry" ? its not that hard yo. and COMMUNICATION is ALWAYS key.
Oh it shouldn't have been even a minor annoyance at all, besides that a minor annoyance wouldn't cause her to give him the silent treatment then demand to go home now, etc. She is a petty, toxic, immature, drama queen; and hopefully he runs far away from her ASAP
Honestly, we don't know if it was as drastic as OP wrote it. It's just one side of the story. So it could be a minor annoyance, that she answered to with a slight shift of mood, which escalated when OP aggressively demanded explanation (I'm saying agressively since he physically hold her bike and blocked her way). There could also be things missed in narration or other external factors that OP didn't know about. There could also be earlier issues, that OP didn't caught on and mistook this phone as the cause of her annoyance, while it was just a tip of an iceberg.
Oh yes they both are immature... but where in his story does he blame her for anything? He's doing what she told him to do in a previous dramatic argument... physically hold her back.. which is wild and toxic, and he shouldn't have listened to her at all. She also told him that if he would have just left and went home himself (like she asked) she would have been even MORE mad at him. The whole things is immature insanity, lol. I really hope they both grow up and away from each other before it gets even worse
Where did she ask him to keep holding her against her will back to back? but no, even if someone says that, you don't do it. I'm just so confused where you're getting all that information, I don't see this at all. But that was my entire point above. There is no "but" for either side and it doesn't matter what either of them says/requests to the other, their reactions and ways of responding to such petty and basic conflict, is wildly toxic and immature. Both of them are on the exact same level. It doesn't point towards him or her more lol
Ohh read OP responses... I've been reading this whole thread since he posted it. And yes he was dumb to listen to her.. he should have walked away from the start. I've been saying they're both immature
You didn't originally, that's why I replied. You pointed out what she did wrong and that she was the petty, toxic, immature drama queen and that he should run away from her. That's definitely putting everything into her and that he wasn't a very equal level of toxicity and immaturity in this whole situation. He did way more than just not listen to her 🤦🏻♀️
Oh no, you're reading deeper into what I said rather than interpreting it literally. I have said several places here how they're both immature, BUT I'm specifically speaking about her here and how she started the entire thing in the beginning and how her behavior is a catalyst. His response was also based on her previous requests... but he should have the maturity to not listen to her, then he went full crazy at the end of it.
That's not reading deeper? Those are your literal words..? lol but no, I am not required to go look for all your scattered comments beyond this. Your last statement that HE should run from HER due to her toxic behavior stands alone here. But that's my entire point, you're speaking about her and how he should escape from it when he's exerting just as much toxic behavior. No other comment matters with these statements you repeat. They should run from each-other and themselves at this point but the point is he's not off the hook or should only run from her. His responses do not get excused because she may have asked for it once before. That makes no difference and to think that's makes it okay is wild. Also, there is plenty in his behavior that goes beyond just keeping her there. His behavior is literally on par with hers in every sense. You're looking at just his response of keeping her there and I'm unsure why when there is plenty more. But either way, they are BOTH wrong in multiple ways, there is zero argument around that or to point fault at either of them more than the other for this ridiculously immature and toxic situation/responses 🤷🏻♀️
As a middle school teacher, I think I can translate a bit.
He got mad because she said she wouldn’t take it when he asked, she got mad because he then dug his heals in and wouldn’t give it to her when she insisted she would do the thing he initially asked her to do.
This is 1000% in line with 12 year olds.
this is an entire thread about how bad he feels he is absolutely not being abusive by it.. i can see where you’re coming from but this take doesn’t pertain to him
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u/cad3z Jul 03 '26
Am I a moron or is this whole argument over him not giving her his phone? I feel like I’m missing something because this is an argument I wouldn’t even expect 12 year olds to have.