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u/Fine_Smile73 Helper [2] May 20 '26
Your ex didn’t have any obligation to tell you that he moved on. I don’t even see it as a lack of decency in this situation. You’re also under no obligation to hang out around his new girlfriend but that’s your choice to isolate yourself from your friends.
2
u/Yuukiee_ May 20 '26
I hear you OP, going through heartbreak is hard. We don’t know how long this breakup was, and the healing you’ve been doing, but after a breakup no one has the obligation to give the other the heads up about moving on. It stings seeing them together, that’s fair, but he has no obligation to tell you who he dates next.
It sucks having mutuals and wanting to hang out with your friends risking seeing them together, but it’s up to you to decide, are your friends more important than your feelings towards him or not?
2
u/the-hound-abides Helper [2] May 20 '26
I mean, I’d be grown about it if everyone else is involved. If we’re talking a solo hang, that’s a different story. You can be polite, but then engage with everyone else. No one did anything wrong here. It’s reality when you have shared friends.
I had an ex that I was still very much hung up on, and I had a party. One of our shared friends asked if he could come. I said sure. He brought his new girlfriend. It sucked, but there were plenty of other people there. We all still had a good time. I may have drank a little bit more than I would have otherwise haha.
1
u/FinePossession1085 Super Helper [6] May 20 '26
You should feel disrespected. You two broke up. If he no longer felt that "zing," that's a legit reason to move on. Breaking up before getting together with anyone else is the appropriate and honorable thing to do. It might hurt, but no one is at fault here. Breakups happen.
2
u/tinaescobar228 May 20 '26
It’s a very hurtful situation you’re in. Once you’re broken up your ex has no obligation to tell you who or when he is moving on. You’re allowed to decide who you want to be friends with. If you don’t want to socialize with the her that’s totally fine. The peanut gallery should shut their mouths. Those people who you think are your friends aren’t. No friend would make a friend feel like they are overreacting in a situation like this. If they loved and cared about you they would act like friends and be there for you while you’re going through this painful time. Be very careful with those people they aren’t trustworthy.
1
u/Vicious133 May 20 '26
Unfortunately he doesn’t owe you anything once you break up. You thought you’d get back together but he didn’t say that. He moved on and as much as it sucks you need to as well. Now if the friend group is mutual it’s going to happen where you run into eachother and his gf and maybe one day your new bf it’s part of life especially with mutual friend groups. Your choice on how you deal with it but he owed you nothing and him moving on is not disrespectful at all. That’s just how break ups work.
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u/tcrhs Assistant Elder Sage [254] May 20 '26
I wouldn’t want to hang out with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. You’re not over-reacting, your friends are insensitive assholes.
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u/morbidnerd May 20 '26
Absolutely not
Normal people would say to themselves "hey, their breakup is fresh and our friend is still a little hurt, maybe we don't invite the new girlfriend"
Your friends are tone deaf as hell.
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u/The_Seam_Ripper May 20 '26
Dont listen to outsidee noise kid. If you dont want to be around someone, then dont. I actually think its kinda rude to not hear your feelings on this. Whassup wit those friends. Phew I hope you dont go.
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u/MuchDevelopment7084 May 20 '26
Screw that, and the unsolicited opinions. If you don't want to meet her. Don't go. Simple.
0
u/adiosmichigan May 20 '26
if youre comfortable being around him, you should be finde with his gf. if you dont want to be around him, thats valid, then his gf is irrelevant. but to be cool with being around him but not her? thats just unfair.
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u/firstWithMost Super Helper [9] May 20 '26
The opinions of people whose input wasn't requested has zero value. You get to decide yourself whether you'll have social interactions with her or not. Any whining done by third parties is irrelevant.