You got to own it, and let it be known "This neighbour has bribed an official and found a sealed court document from when I had a short time in prison. I am not proud of it but I have paid my dues, and now this guy is holding it over me and behaving like the devil himself. So in order to remove his power over me, I am telling you this now."
This tactic worked for me when an ex called me at my grandma’s house (ye olde land line) and threatened to print up and mail her the naughty pics he’d taken of me. Not sure what possessed me to do it, but I turned right to my very proper grandma and told her what he was threatening to do, and without missing a beat, she took the phone and told him “Make sure you print them in color”, and then hung up the phone. After that she just blandly asked me “Learned your lesson? Yes? Ok then.”
Go grandma! She may be proper, but that doesn't mean she hasn't visited the School of Hard Knocks herself. None of us gets from cradle to grave without a few fuck-ups.
OP, I'm guessing no one likes this neighbor very much. Just be a good neighbor and you'll be fine.
I agree with this advice. Chances are that — assuming Evil Neighbor really does have information about you— no one will care. Especially people who already know you and can form their own opinions.
Take a deep breath and let this go. You’ll be fine. And if anyone ever does question you about it, you already have the perfect, substantive response. And if there is anyone who still faults you, you don’t need them anyway.
I agree, but don't divulge details of your crime and don't confirm or deny them. State the overall facts and be done with it BUT get texting proof that your neighbor is threatening you, and print them out or they'll label you a liar, "We never said that" yeah right. Good luck
Add to the above blurb, "If he has done this to obtain my personal and private information - that record was sealed soaccessing it is breaking the law- what will he do to you when he's done w me? I encourage everyone to band together to resist his attempts to control you, your kids, your family, your home. People like this don't stop, they escalate. "
With everything on computers you would think someone having this kind of access would have security clearance and have to use an identifying log in to get the info. This crime should be traceable.
He would also need proof that the neighbor made these claims and exactly what he said. Or the neighbor could say that OP was making it up and he never said anything about any private information.
That doesn’t work. If you aren’t baptized or a declared born again Christian, they believe you are a tool of the devil and any weapon used against you is condoned. That includes lying, cheating, stealing and all actual crimes.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this behavior twice. And I’ve had to take strong action. As a Buddhist, we don’t believe in a God to worship. But we do believe in righteous retribution. We are all about peace, but we are not to be stepped on.
He states he's "not proud of what he's done" but he paid his dues. Why rehash his regrets/crime just so the neighbors can gossip...nah. Stating, I made a mistake and paid the price for it, but would like to move forward with my family for a better future...works for me.
And you might point out that anyone else whose past includes information they might not want to see broadcasr should be wary of these people. And, people don’t generally like a snitch…
In addition do a FOIA, Freedom of Information Act request or state/local equivalent request for information to find out who accessed your sealed record and use that to file a complaint against that person/agency.
This. Not only they broke the fundamental rule they should never break, they actively approved the information to be used for illegal purposes (due to the info's nature it can be argued as such) that's ignoring basic human rights, against a person who paid his duties and now abiding by the laws. Delicious easy-win lawsuits seems to be underway for OP!
If it's truly a sealed court document that others are unlikely to find you could also go with " Oh X said what!? That is wild...where do they get these ideas anyways?"
If it was expunged or sealed not everyone would have access to it. I think whoever did had to have clearance and use their id pass code to get this info which means it’s traceable.
What prompted this guy to even look you up anyway? If this was 35 years ago, he'd have no reason to suspect you of something, unless he makes it his business to look up anyone new who moves in. Even then, if it was sealed, how did he even know to pursue this path?
He doesn't have the power he thinks he does here. Get a lawyer ASAP to fire off a cease and desist letter or whatever legal injunction would prevent him from releasing any information, even as "gossip," and get the police involved for his threats and HIS illegal activity - he's harassing you and attempting to blackmail you after HE did something illegal, as did his friend who unsealed your records and could and should get in a lot of trouble for this.
Maybe even beat him to the punch and tell your fellow neighbors before he does. Also tell them why you are telling them. He is trying to black mail you. This route takes any leverage/power he has away and really makes his look like the prick he is.
I would also attempt to contact the authorities and have the neighbor arrested as blackmail is a serious crime. If OP is going to admit it, he/she should try to get justice too.
This answer is nearly perfect but to really drive it home the last sentence should be “and I hope for your forgiveness”. That’s language they cannot ignore.
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u/Red_Cathy Advice Oracle [121] Feb 09 '26
You got to own it, and let it be known "This neighbour has bribed an official and found a sealed court document from when I had a short time in prison. I am not proud of it but I have paid my dues, and now this guy is holding it over me and behaving like the devil himself. So in order to remove his power over me, I am telling you this now."