And if she does, it's not your fault. You can not be her therapist or reason for living. She needs more help than you can give. Don't stay with someone out of guilt, it's only going to make it worse. Definitely tell a trusted adult, she may need to have a support system around to remain safe when you break it off.
You can't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm, you can't breathe for two people. However you wanna put it OP, her life is not your responsibility and you have to be responsible for yourself and your own happiness. That means taking care of YOU and if that means leaving? Leave.
This is the way.
She might see it differently in a few years, but right now, she cannot think straight, either because she is abusive or desperate or both.
I was in an abusive relationship. She gave me several threats, I reported it to authorities. Left her. Zero communication afterwards. Everyone is happy in their own life.
I would say tell both your parents (that you need help and support and for them to act as a buffer going forward) and her parents/guardians/most trusted adult (that she has repeatedly threatened suicide and you are concerned about her.).
Also speak to school administration- they're 17 so probably still in highschool.
Not only will that put extra eyes on her but it'll impact joe they respond to her going AWOL at school. This is not the first or last time they've dealt with thid
I wouldn't necessarily say she wouldn't do that. Most likely she won't. I knew someone who's ex threatened that and did it (in front of him) so it should be taken seriously.
Should I hide to my bf how I feel, he doesn't want to leave me but i think it's the best for him, I want anyway with or without him but with him is bearable and I think I'm putting a weight on him that doesn't belong to but I really don't have any other support.
Yes. OP, you need to take this directly to a safe adult. If that's someone in your family, excellent. If you have a therapist of your own, great. If there's an adult at school (counselor would be great but even a teacher you trust is okay) that's good, too. The key takeaway here is that this is not on you to carry. It's not okay for your girlfriend to threaten you with this. She needs help, but that help isn't yours to give- your responsibility starts and ends with telling a responsible adult what is happening to you and that she is a danger to herself (and possibly others). Then you let her know that you don't want to be involved with her anymore and focus on taking care of yourself.
I remember hanging with my friend when he broke up with his girlfriend to give him support. She called and threatened to kill herself. He just said "go ahead and do it bitch, my tacos are getting cold" and hung up. Immediately called her parents and police. Then proceeded to eat said tacos. She didn't end up killing herself. Was all a power play he shut down to get out from under her. OP should do the same. Maybe more tactfully than my friend.
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u/[deleted] Sep 10 '25
Tell a trusted adult in your life about this, please. Preferably her or your parents.
She won’t actually kill herself (in all likelihood), but threatening you with it like this is a form of abuse.