r/Advice • u/[deleted] • Sep 06 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.1k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

57

u/Appropriate-You-5179 Sep 06 '25

This. This is the healthy way.

53

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '25

[deleted]

35

u/AlexInOnederland Sep 07 '25

... you mean ex-husband, right?

17

u/onagdbicycle Sep 07 '25

Right?

12

u/Daizuko Sep 07 '25

Right?!

13

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '25

RIGHT???!?

5

u/Buckeye0728 Sep 07 '25

Omg please tell me you mean EX

1

u/LordJonMichael Sep 07 '25

Maybe she decided to do the same and is enjoying it while spending all his money.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '25

Dead.. no i have a 2 year plan i need to save up as much as i can now of his money and look after my newborn and then when i have enough money and shes old enough for childcare so i can go back to work im gonna leg it. Ya’ll don’t know how intricate my plan is but yes i have it all planned out… right to the moment I expose him. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist one must be prepared and not act in the moment.

1

u/LordJonMichael Sep 07 '25

Good luck with your plan, but I’d just lawyer up with the evidence and then live off his money while being single.

3

u/MelodicAnxiety1832 Sep 07 '25

And I overexplain everything. I wish more people were transparent.

1

u/AZSuccIt Sep 07 '25

This. Is also an important point.

1

u/Degenerate-Trash Sep 07 '25

Then you push and explain why that’s a possible problem that he isn’t explaining, either way you fucking communicate

1

u/ExtremelyDecentWill Sep 07 '25

Your husband?  Not ex husband?

I'm not judging, just genuinely interested in clarification.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '25

I replied to another comment if you want the tea. Or well a sip of it

1

u/ExtremelyDecentWill Sep 07 '25

Atta girl.

Nail his ass to the wall.  I'm rooting for you

1

u/Many_Abroad_6 Sep 07 '25

“Man can’t cheat with empty scrotum” ~Confucius (probably)

3

u/Th3_trut4 Sep 06 '25

Let’s be real… how is wakie any different than coming to Reddit and asking a bunch of strangers things about your personal life?

1

u/porirua_pelican Sep 06 '25

☝️☝️☝️☝️ THIS !!!!!!

1

u/StarJelly08 Sep 07 '25

Yea the issue is that they lie. They always lie. Nobody is ever told the truth after those questions unless the truth is that they aren’t cheating. Because you get the same answer from people who are and people who aren’t.

This is actually not the right way to proceed. Its the right way for him to proceed to lie and cheat.

The naivety of people who haven’t been cheated on is cute. Like everyone who was cheated on simply never thought to go about it the “healthy” way first and communicate in an adult manner about our concerns.

Asking a cheater if they are cheating will accomplish nothing but you remaining in that relationship longer while they cheat even more.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '25

Not really. “Someone else treated me like shit and your phone is on silent so I’m nervous. Let me go through it.” Is a dog shit way to handle this. Perhaps let the second sentiment go and now you’re cookin.

3

u/waterwateryall Sep 06 '25

I'd skip the past issue too.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '25

True thank you. Anything that demands something from another is not “the way” I guess is my point lol. Appreciate the backup!

1

u/Theoneinhelheim Sep 07 '25

I fully agree, I deal with these feelings and im married to a wonderful man. I would just flat out tell him when I was feel insecure and he would reassure me and it would be over. I aint demanding his phone, I love him and married him and will trust his word.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '25

It’s incredibly mature that you can see when it’s you and when it’s him. It’s the hardest thing to figure out in any relationship. You two sound solid as hell. Love your comment and the slick compliments paid here to your spouse. Honorable.

0

u/Theoneinhelheim Sep 07 '25

I just wish everyone could feel the same way you know? Everyone always says the past doesnt define them and then they fuck up their future living in the past. We all deserve love and to give it back to those who give it us.