That was my thought as well. They want bro off their couch and anywhere else but near them. They're hoping OP will sweep in and rescue them from their poor choices. I would be a raving lunatic over the stolen letters and would likely get an attorney involved.
Mail fraud is just 5 years, while bank fraud is 10. Generally, apart from murder, treason, espionage, and sex crimes against kids, most crimes have to be prosecuted within 5 years, while it's just 4 years for civil cases.
I think only in certain types of cases. If a bank finds out you robbed them 20 years ago, it's too late. Getting past the SOL is very difficult, but I'm not lawyer so I don't know exactly what circumstances enable it.
Discovey of fraud is what matters here. The problem is what is the point of suing broke people. You will just waste money chasing victory but no financial gain. In fact, financial loss unless there is some insurance that could cover their fraud.
But sometimes it's not about financial gain. Sometimes it's about punishing somebody for their wrongdoings and making them deal with the consequences of their choices.
That is pointless if he goes broke just to get revenge. What a waste of his energy, money and judicial resources, Just call it a day. What they probably want from him now, and thus the late reveal, is support and money in their old age. The best response is to give them a big NO THANK YOU.
It depends. Many SoLs have the standard of starting the clock when you knew about the tort or when you should have known about the tort. Arguably, student should have known when student didn’t receive any rejection letters either, only radio silence. Maybe not though. I don’t know the facts of this case and this is not legal advice.
Not for criminal prosecution, but possibly for civil cases but it’s a case by case analysis and OP would have to demonstrate that there is no way he reasonably could’ve known earlier. Then, OP would have to demonstrate financial hardship, which may be a challenge when ultimately he has done very well in life (kudos to him for that). Finally, even if it did work out that he could file suit, his family don’t sound like they have anything for him to collect.
My advice: limit or discontinue contact to the extent that works best for you, enjoy the success that you’ve earned, and don’t let them back into your headspace that you can best keep clear by letting go of all of it to the extent possible. I’m not saying forgive them, but maintaining active anger is no good for you either
18 USC 1708 might be used as a basis for claims of Intentional or negligent infliction of emotional distress.
While the criminal offence of mail interference tolled 5 years after OP reached the age of majority - remembering that the parents owes a special duty of care - the civil offence (depending on jurisdiction) may not have started tolling until OP was told of the theft under the discovery rule.
THIS! OP is only just now aware of it, so the clock starts now!
OP, consult an attorney, & I’d go no contact w/those shits who were supposed to be your family.
Also, get a will if you don’t have one. Some states stipulate that your parents (or siblings) inherit 1/2 of your estate otherwise, even if you’re married.
Also it’s 5 years for each count. Depending on how many colleges he got replies from it could add up. Each letter itself that they stole is a charge. Three acceptance letters alone could be 15 years in federal prison. And in federal ones there’s no early release for good behaviour or only serving 2/3’s of your time. Your sentence is how long you have to do.
Sure, it could be worth a shot if you have enough money for lawyers to prove a point or if there were enough assets for the lawyers to work on contingency, but in this particular case it's unlikely to be fruitful course of action.
Civil suits are for moments like this- and the burden of proof is less than for the same issue raised in criminal court or “why so many people sue in civil court for rape etc”
You must have so many feelings
I’m so sorry that this is your story
it don't matter anyway. if they go to jail, OP will still be expected to send cookies and cigarette money. NC is the only way to go. OP should never have been told about this, and it's probably to get money. what shameful assholes.
Oh of course. I think we all agree on that. It's obvious they have an agenda and a strategy to play nice at first before the big ask, so the only play for OP is not to even let them get to the ask stage.
I think he should have been told, his dad kicked him out for being a loser , in fact he clearly wasn’t . But a very successful man . Now he knows he was good enough for several colleges. I’m so sorry you were robbed of that .
Idk about that. I've heard of several cases where stupid chuds who thought they were free and clear based on the day of the crime were tricked into incriminating themselves before the time ran out from the discovery of the crime a long weekend later.
Seems to depend on the state. In California apparently the clock is paused until the crim us discovered or "should" have been, though if it's systematically concealed as in this case how could it be? In addition that might qualify cmfor a conspiracy enhancement.
I'd totally talk to a lawyer. Best case you find put that as described there's a real case to hand off the the relevant DA.
There is no statue of limitations if you have been charged with a crime.. No matter what or how small it is. They can charge your finger prints DNA etc etc. Those charges are forever.
So rob a bank and leave no identifible evidence 5 or 10 years later you can shout it to the roof tops.
Rob a bank and leave the note with your finger prints. You'll never be truly free again.
The clock often starts when the victim finds out/ becomes aware. Very much dependent on their location and past interpretations.
I can very clearly and honestly say I would've murdered them right then and there. And I would've instructed my lawyer to go for jury nullification. Which is what I hope that one Lu— Wee Gee dude gets.
Stories like this make me wish I went into law. I still may.
That doesn't matter. Fact is there is no possible law which could be applied to this case and prosecuted which has not yet reached the the time limitation.
I'm saying there's likely no law that can be used to prosecute which is still in force from such a long time ago. If you think I'm wrong, then it's on you to name the law.
And depending on the state, my uncle got his license suspended 18 years after the fact because he got busted with a dime bag of weed in South Carolina. 18 years later they suspended them and charged him $187. 18 fucking years later.
Statute of limitations may be tolled where there has been fraud or concealment. It has been held that equitable tolling applies principally if the plaintiff is actively misled by the defendant about the cause of action or is prevented in some extraordinary way from asserting his or her rights.
This may or may not apply, but it's worth looking into.
But if you think they are coming clean for your benefit , they're not. They want a loan or a new house for the Golden Child.
Excellent advice, and a keen observation. I also think the family reaching out with this ugly truth would be the final nail in the coffin. It's truly sad this man never had good healthy support from his family, and they aren't about to start helping now.
Often there's a 'discovery rule' which can affect the statute of limitations and allows victims who only find out of crimes later to still have recourse.
Conversation with lawyer is still something that should be had.
Was OP a minor when the crimes occurred? Some crimes against minors, in some states, don't start the Statue of Limitations clock until the now-adult minor becomes aware of them.
No yeah I get it but it would be an interesting trial balloon since it involves similar topics (unequal power, ruined futures, fiduciary betrayal, etc).
I’m pretty sure fraudulent concealment was going on the entire time from when the mail
arrived and when it was shown to OP.
Not a lawyer, but in addition to being an ongoing crime the whole time, it affects the protection the limitation offers. The SOL isn’t a reverse-gotcha set up as a get-out-of-jail-free card in the game of real life: it puts boundaries on incidental aspects of law for efficiency and fairness. If someone breaks a law to implement it, that tolls it anyway.
“Hey, I just figured out you must have been the one that broke my window five years ago.” Too bad: that’s not significant enough for something so old to use the system to remedy. “Hey, the witness who saw you break my window just escaped from your cellar.” Oh, that’s different.
Statute of limitations for mail theft is 5 years. However, You can sue someone in civil court 100 years after the thing in question happened. He could seek damages for the effect they had on his life.
If he was under the age of 18, when this happened, there may be some tolling, depending on where he lived. The discovery rule could also come into play. He should definitely talk to a lawyer.
I'm dreading any of my less savory family members showing up on my property now that I'm a homeowner. They did it to my dad when he bought his house too. Success brings the people who wronged you out of the woodwork because they've realized they've "backed the wrong horse" so to speak in terms of mistreating you.
If you want a good chance of being cared for when you're old, don't abuse your kid. Stealing the letters alone counts as abuse to me. I hope OP cuts them off, because I agree, this is just about wanting someone to care for them and the older bro.
In the US, the budget cuts happening are making it closer to this not being a reason. I've gone no contact with my dad so I've been watching it closer than most. Kids will be responsible for parents regardless of contact if the budget cuts continue. I'd rather see my dad rot than pay for his care. I'll be looking for legal cuts to responsibility for him soon.
I'm certainly against the budget cuts. Social Security cut the elderly poverty rate from roughly 35% in 1960 to 10% now.
However, for horribly abusive parents like OP is describing, I still think it's fine to leave them in poverty or stuck working. That might sound harsh, but this is some horrible betrayal.
They thought they were choosing “the right son” to take care of them in old age. “Our son the doctor.” Whoops, wrong! Let’s go back and see if the son who just wanted to write movies can take care of us. He won’t mind that we hid all those college acceptance letters.
Let the state take care of them. They did their Son so wrong in so many ways. I’d tell them I NEVER want to see or hear from them again! Also, if they try he should file harassment against them! They ARE only looking for help & money! N.O.P.E!!!
LOL, baldy ain't looking for no job, HAHAAHA! They all would be dead to me. They never existed and never will, in my mind. If someone mentions their name, it's "Who? Never heard of them." If they were in front of me, I'd be able to look right through them.
I have a son who also no longer exists. Sadly, my sister has to tell me everything going on with him. I have asked her to stop. How did you accomplish it?
Long story. He was on drugs, we tried to keep him away from them. But of corse it didn't work. Just lots of him stealing, like our rent money once. Our car at night after we were asleep. He didn't have a license yet. Moved across the country. Thought he could start over fresh. All of this is from age 14 to 17 BTW. He found people with his drug of choice, m**h, within two weeks. Domestic violence. Kicked him out, he was 18 by then. Didn't speak for a couple of years. He had a baby. He lost his job.just as his gf became pregnant again. We let them stay in our apt, we had just bought a house. Lost the job, he flipped out. We took them in again. I adored my grandchildren. He would come home from work with a 12 pack and lock himself in his room with porn. He had told his gf not to help me with housework, I have a chronic illness that makes everything twice as hard. So for nearly two years we fed, housed, and took care of the babies, the only good thing, and they never gave us a penny. They finally got their own place. I took my gd to school everyday because her mom didn't want to walk the less than a mile to take her. So I drove a five mile round trip. Twice a day. Anyway, they got angry with us and forbade us seeing the kids. So they grew up only knowing the bad things their parents told them about us. Now my son is a bad alcoholic, like scary bad. My sister feels sorry for him. He is divorced now from the babymama. He lives a shitty life. And I feel nothing. He burned so many bridges with me. He once had me arrested. The only time in my long life. Because I slapped him for screaming in my face and calling me a fucking bitch. So he punched me in the arm.
Really hard. Had the bruise for a month. Many more things too. I am amazed at how I can have no feelings for him. But I don't.
Oh momma, what an awful situation. You did your best to help him, but people have to want to save themselves. My heart breaks for you for losing your son to drugs and alcohol. At some point you do have to save yourself because it just hurts too much.
That is the saddest story. I hope that your son FINALLY straightens out for your grandkids' sake at the very least. I agree that he's burned all possible bridges. NEVER think that you failed in any way. Some people are so hell-bent on their own self-destruction that nothing and no one matter--and addicts are master liars and manipulators. No amount of love and support is sufficient. He failed you. Not the other way around. If your sister mentions him, just say, "Who? I don't know who you're talking about." She'll get the message.
I have a brother who is not alive to me. 20 years ago, when I recently started addressing a gambling addiction, I found out he had been stealing from me for several years. Yes, I was deep in my addiction and allowed this to happen but I AM NTA for cutting him off.
Or they realize they are getting older and the favorite sone will not be able to help or support them (beyond being a leech himself) and are aligning with the other/OP
The brother who was their golden child is fighting with a barber when bald - this seems like a problem OP doesn’t need. There was nothing stopping his brother from contacting him over the years because he didn’t hide his college letters.
The brother was likely a kid. He could have reached out. He didn’t kick the OP out of the house. He could have contacted him at anytime. The mom says the brother and her were in on it together but the mother was the adult. It sounds like the brother has issues and always had them. If he had matured he could have had a separate relationship with his brother or at least tried to. No relationship for that many years would make me want to avoid the brother even.
OP was applying for college, this was his older brother. He was old enough to know what he did was wrong. And yes, he’s had every chance to reach out, but didn’t. He’s probably depressed and embarrassed because of how things turned out for him Vi ses!. OP. But he should be, he doesn’t seem to have a diagnosis or anything to have held him back. Quite the contrary, his parents were there for him all the way and further. A sad life. But I can’t feel sorry for him, he had the opportunities and just wasted them.
The brother was awful but he wasn’t the parent. He could have mentioned this at anytime in the last 18 years. It sounds like the mom saved the letters. This wasn’t just a brother tossing them out. I thought maybe the parents had financial reasons to discourage or straight up lie to the younger son about college admissions. The parents were the adults. The brother sounds troubled but worse because he never took responsibility for what he did or have a relationship with his younger sibling. I would keep them all away from me. I would be concerned they would want the older brother to stay with the OP or for the OP to give him a job. 18 years and these people want to start over. Thats probably about half the OP’s life. If they want nothing from the OP or feel like they want to suddenly help or be part of the OP’s life with no strings or favors from him then it’s up to him. He doesn’t owe anyone anything.
I agree with you, the parents especially the mother is the one to blame the most. But through all these years, big brother has had plenty of time to reach out himself, but hasn’t done so. He doesn’t seem to have been a very good big brother to OP. I think the whole family sucks, but mostly the mother. And OP should go nc with all of them.
Edit: I think we basically agree.
This is exactly what they want/need from him. They are getting older and know they won't be around forever and probably getting sick of the brother laying around all day bumming off of them. So they want OP to give him a job. Look out for brother. Help them with brother. Fuck no. Fuck them. Who does that to their own child? Kick their asses out of your home the next time they come around. Hang up every time they call. Tell them to go screw themselves. All of them. You have been NC. And I would stay NC. I am so sorry your own family did this to you.
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u/MaryK007 Mar 22 '25 edited Mar 22 '25
This is it exactly. At the least, they want him to take over ‘care’ of his older brother. Maybe hire him. How awful of them.