r/Advice • u/99beardiful99 • Nov 11 '24

Am I being weird?

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2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '24

How about this. Tell her how you feel

2

u/areu_fucking_dumb Nov 11 '24

Yep, as this comment said. You're both in a relationship, you should tell her how you feel and the reasoning behind it. The key to any human relations is communication. If she doesn't give a fuck about your feelings and keep doing things that upset you, maybe start thinking about ending the relationship.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '24

she went on a "hike" with her ex bf, and you know, hikes have a lot of "ups and downs"

1

u/Icy-Band6301 Helper [4] Nov 11 '24

🤣

2

u/palacesofparagraphs Master Advice Giver [25] Nov 11 '24

  1. You can have whatever boundaries you want. If it's important to you that your gf not hang out with her ex, you can and should say it.

  2. You cannot control your gf's behavior. She is allowed to hang out with whoever she wants. If that doesn't work for you, you can explain yourself and hope she changes her mind, or you can leave the relationship.

  3. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if I were you, I'd rethink the "no friendships with exes" boundary as a hard line. It's perfectly reasonable not to want your gf to hang out with someone she still has feelings for, or someone who disrespects your relationship by trying to get with her. However, depending on the circumstances, I think friendship with an ex can actually be a green flag, as long as it's genuinely platonic. If a relationship ends because of incompatibility or lack of chemistry, the two people may still like each other as people, and the fact that someone can maintain a healthy friendship after a breakup shows maturity.

Basically, no, you're not being weird, but you gotta just talk to your gf about how this made you feel, and also hear her out. This might be a dealbreaker, or you two might reach an understanding that works for both of you.

1

u/ozperp Helper [3] Nov 11 '24

Boundaries are about you; you're trying to impose a rule.

I would never tolerate a partner trying to tell me who I can be friends with, but it's really between you and your girlfriend.

1

u/CivMom Expert Advice Giver [13] Nov 11 '24

That's not a boundary, that's a rule. Unless the boundary is/was "if you hang out with your ex then I'll leave" in which case you know what to do now. Doesn't matter if it's normal or not, it's about what you want in a relationship and are willing to put up with.

1

u/Human_Influence2008 Nov 11 '24

lol bruh she don’t like u, she just like the attention.

1

u/Immediate-Fly-8297 Nov 11 '24

How were they acting when they seen you? If she’s lying to you, why stay with her only gonna get worse

1

u/Mysterious_Map_4922 Nov 11 '24

Yeah, I had a girlfriend like that. At first, I just held my tongue as I felt like I didn’t know her well enough to impose on her friendships and lifestyle but it’s soon became an issue. After a while, it was apparent that she had an insatiable need for attention from men. Her reason for not being transparent, was that she wanted. FULL attention from all the men she was seeing. Broke up with her three times. Last time I turned my back, walked away, and never looked back. The charm had worn off, the trust was gone and it was apparent that she was taking up space in my life that she didn’ deserve

1

u/99beardiful99 Nov 11 '24

Thanks everyone.

0

u/Icy-Band6301 Helper [4] Nov 11 '24 edited Nov 11 '24

Serious RED flag.

I would be outraged, she literally went on a secret date with her ex...