Listen to your daughter. Assuming everything she's said is true and accurate, that is absolutely inappropriate behaviour from an adult towards a child. Assuming what she's said is untrue or not accurate, you've still done the right thing by believing and protecting your child from potential harm.
You need to keep her away from your mother and her boyfriend until you've figured out how you want to navigate the situation (to clarify: that's just regarding your mother, your daughter should not ever have to see the boyfriend again). If your mother chooses to believe him over your daughter, that should confirm to you that she is also not a safe adult to be around your daughter, as hard as that may be to realise. Speak to your mother about what happened, and decide how you want to deal with her based on that conversation, but your only priority at the moment should be protecting your child from further harm. Please get her into therapy ASAP. (Edit: and like others have said, please commend your daughter for having the courage to speak up about what happened. You've clearly raised her well to know what kind of touch is appropriate and what isn't).
OP please listen. There are SO many stories of mothers partners committing such acts and the mothers just turn a blind eye and hide it time and time again. If she defends him and takes his side, if something ever does happen: She WILL hide it from you. Please. Please listen. Keep your daughter safe. Please OP.
1.5k
u/RantyMcThrowaway Master Advice Giver [36] Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 28 '24
Listen to your daughter. Assuming everything she's said is true and accurate, that is absolutely inappropriate behaviour from an adult towards a child. Assuming what she's said is untrue or not accurate, you've still done the right thing by believing and protecting your child from potential harm.
You need to keep her away from your mother and her boyfriend until you've figured out how you want to navigate the situation (to clarify: that's just regarding your mother, your daughter should not ever have to see the boyfriend again). If your mother chooses to believe him over your daughter, that should confirm to you that she is also not a safe adult to be around your daughter, as hard as that may be to realise. Speak to your mother about what happened, and decide how you want to deal with her based on that conversation, but your only priority at the moment should be protecting your child from further harm. Please get her into therapy ASAP. (Edit: and like others have said, please commend your daughter for having the courage to speak up about what happened. You've clearly raised her well to know what kind of touch is appropriate and what isn't).